Achieve Your 2024 Goals On Autopilot

Hey, my name is Teresa Hildebrand and this is Organized Chaos. We take a deep dive into living with intentionality, focusing on what's important in our lives so we can truly feel our best. It may feel chaotic at times, but with a little organization, the right mindset and a ton of self-love, we can still thrive. Join me as we talk to other busy moms and experts who will share tips and strategies to help you reach your goals. Hope you enjoy this episode of Organized Chaos. Now on to the show. Hey friends, welcome to the show. So today's episode is about goals, specifically about automating your success and achieving your goals on autopilot. And what better time than now to listen to this? This is actually a workshop my husband, mark, and I did right before the new year for the past and current clients and those on our email list. It was an exclusive workshop and it was amazing. So if you're ready to listen, you can take notes on your way to reach your goals without even thinking about them.

let's go. We are going to set you up today to have some massive success, not only when it comes to your business, but also when it comes to your personal life, when it comes to your health, when it comes to all those things that really are deeply meaningful and important to you. So, just to give you an idea, we are going to have a workshop today, so that means if you have some heavy paper or digital form, it doesn't matter. We want you to really take some big, big nuggets from today's training, not only just want to help you personalize this for you, but because we know a lot of you guys are out there wanting to make an impact in the world and literally by listening to the advice that you're getting from us, seeing how it applies to you, also, you can see how it applies to the people that you lead. Maybe five minutes before this, my kids decided they were going to wake up and they wanted to come downstairs and they wanted to get some cereal. At the last second, when we're like guys, we're like all set up here, right, and then my son's like what is this about? And I gave him a little bit of an idea and he's like I need all of that. And I was like you know what we really wish, what we teach or going to be talking about, and teaching today was taught in schools. What would it look like if this stuff was taught in school? What do you think? That would be crazy, it would be totally crazy. It would be totally crazy. So we are going to dive right in. We do want to hear some feedback as we go. By the way, can you guys hear us? Can you hear us? Well, all right, so we have a little bit of a different of a set.

We're going to make sure that everything is working properly. This is a yes.

And our puppy decided that he wants to make some noise right now too, but it's all good. But this is going to be a powerful workshop for you guys, and one of the things that I really want to I really want to make sure that we realize before we get started is how proud I am for you showing up for this, for you dedicating your life towards your goals, not just your business, but also your personal goals, because most people don't do that. They aren't willing to set goals at this time of the year, or they just set a resolution and they have no idea how they're going to do what we're going to talk about today, and that is like actually create like your goals, but also set your brain on autopilot, meaning it will happen, naturally. I mean, have you ever experienced this where maybe when you first start something, it takes a little bit of time to think about it consciously? You're going to have to remind yourself, but then after some time, before you know it, you start performing the actions of that type of person I even think about, like driving your car or brushing your teeth, like a lot of times we don't have to think about that. I mean sometimes to a fault where you just you know you get into your car and you have no idea how you ended up at um for Teresa's Ulta. For me, it's like I don't know what, like maybe Best Buy, maybe Best Buy. We have no idea how we got there right, but it's because our brain has been pre-programmed to go out there and to do those things on autopilot. We're going to teach you what we learned to make. That also related to your personal and your professional goal. Now here's the thing If you've set goals before, if you tried this before and you're like I'm in the same spot every single year, this webinar and this training and this workshop is literally made for you. If you're somebody who's I've never really set a goal, I've heard about them, I've thought about them, but I haven't done it because I'm a little nervous about not actually hitting my goals this workshop is for you. If you actually set a goal and you hit a goal, I'm going to tell you you set the wrong goal and you're going to be right here at the right workshop, because that'll make you push a little bit, because we want to set goals that are called push goals I like to call them legacy goals where you're literally as a result of you hitting that goal, you make a huge impact in the world and you make a huge impact in your personal life, and that's what we're going to be doing here today. So good, yeah, you ready to go? Sounds exciting. All right, cool. Now we're going to start off with three very powerful things that I really want to break down before we get into the actual part of the workshop, because if you don't take these three things and inject them into the rest of the workshop today and the rest of your life, you're going to feel very stuck. You're going to feel like you're going uphill. You're going to feel like you're starting over again. You're going to feel like, man, everything that I try, it's just not working. I'm confused, what to do next? And if you don't take these three things seriously, they're going to really hold you back. But before we get to that, let's do a little bit of an introduction, because I know that there are some people here that don't even know who we are 100%, and that's also why I wanted to talk about those three things, because I want to share a little bit about our story in terms of how we got up against a rock in a hard place, like they say, and we didn't realize that these three things were what we really needed to lean into. But do you want to do a quick introduction for you? Yeah, sure, go for it.

So my name is Theresa LeBran and I am a life and performance coach for mom entrepreneurs. So really, what I help women do is reject the notion that they have to do it all and then find out what's most important and do that efficiently. So because I went through that, I went through working full time and then leaving my job and being a full-time mom and it was something really overwhelming. And also I do this business with my husband and it was just something that I failed through over and over and over again and now we kind of have the behind the scenes look at this that I can share with other people.

I love it. I love it and it is pretty cool when you get to wake up and be married to your business partner. But there is some negatives to it. Right when Mr Mark decides he wants to talk about business all day, all time of the day. But that was a really, really great introduction. Thank you for that. In terms of me, I always consider myself a lifelong police officer. I did everything in my life to work up to that career, become a police officer. I worked for LAPD, did it for 20 years, rose up through the ranks, got to the rank of sergeant and about at the halfway point I realized that I wasn't living up to my potential. I realized that I was putting my family on the back burner, was putting my health on the back burner. At one point I was 100 pounds overweight. Difference between where I am now and I was doing whatever a so quote, unquote successful professional person was doing. I was climbing up the ranks, I was working all the overtime, I was spending a lot of time there, I was being the most dependable person that I could be there. And what I realized is I put those other areas which are painful to me to think about on the back burner because it was just a season. I only have to wait until I get this goal, and once I get this goal, everything's going to happen, it's going to be beautiful. Only, that's never the case. That season turns into years, turns into decades, and then, before you know it, you're like this is now just my normal routine, and my normal routine is putting those other areas of my life on the back burner. Now, what you'll hear through today and you'll I'm going to share a few different stories about some of these game changing moments in my life is that I was literally repeating what my parents did, so my parents. When I was young, they got divorced. Somehow. My dad won custody of us, which was unheard of back in the day but once my dad and my mom separated, I went to go live with my dad along with my brother. There was some turmoil that actually caused him to get divorced again, because at that time he had remarried and because of that he had to spend so much time and energy away from us working. You know, that's something that I've definitely gotten from him is like he's the hardest worker on the planet. But we never saw him and I kind of had to raise myself and my brother the whole entire time, and all we had was beer and mustard in the refrigerator, and I don't know why it was just beer and mustard, but that was the only two things. I mean maybe goes well together with hot dogs, I don't know, but it was like this struggle of now becoming, at like 13, 14 years old, the person who has to make money to be able to you know, for us to eat food. I remember we used to just have like french fries that we put the oil on the on the stove top and just like. That would be like our dinners for like multiple days, or hot pockets was like a big deal. That was a big deal for us. Or hamburger helper and all of these things like really build me up of like I've got to work hard for my worth. I've got to work hard to prove that I can do this for the, for my brother and for the rest of the world, and that was something that I had. I hadn't really thought of, but I was like I don't want this to happen when I get older. I remember hearing this quote of like if you don't tackle the demons that you currently have, you'll most likely pass them off to your kids. And that is one thing that really pisses me off is like I refuse to pass any of those demons off. Yet I was going down that same exact path. So when you hear that I really want you to connect with not just our stories that our stories have to be the same but literally through the transformations that we were going to talk about here today and through getting finally certified as a life coach and understanding the philosophies that we're going to talk about here today, I was not only able to, like transform my mindset, but, as a result, we created a business, a multiple six figure business that allowed both of us to retire, so we can be here on a beautiful Saturday morning. We'd be here when our kids are, you know, going off to school and coming home, and we don't have to worry about rush hour traffic or being deployed in Los Angeles during a riot, like none of those things which were taking me away, have that toll or have that pull on me anymore, and it's because of my ability of setting goals, understanding how to reverse, engineer it, talk about all the things that could be holding us back today and really programming it on autopilot so we would happen without me thinking Is that a good intro? Yeah, okay, cool. So we're going to dive in to the first three things that I've heard. That transformed not only my life but got me to see where the true change needed to happen. So we didn't talk about this much. But when I first started my business, I started out in a multi-level marketing company and it was one of the greatest stepping stones that I think I could have ever had, because when you're a part of multi-level marketing, a lot of things they push is personal development and personal growth, like you've got to become better, right. And I remember the first person that I listened to, and it was on a CD. I used to have it, I used to play it inside of my truck as I was going back and forth from places, and it was from this guy named Jim Rohn. Does anybody know who Jim Rohn is? Okay, jim Rohn had this beautiful knack of like keeping it super simple and it felt like a punch in the gut but him being nice about it, so that it felt kind of cool when he told you this. And he told me three things when I was listening to the CD, and I want to share them with you here today, because this is what opened the door to all the other things besides this. Okay, because if you don't get these three pieces, the rest of this workshop you should just turn off, because it's going to be useless. For what is, is he said? For things to get better, you have to get better. For things to change, you have to change, and if you want something different, then you have to do something different. Let's go over this real quick. I want you to say it one more time For things to get better, you have to get better. They don't get better by default. They don't get better repeating the same things that you've ever done. For things to get better, you as a person, you have to develop yourself into the type of person who is going to have these goals that we talk about. If you are, try to lose 100 pounds, you need to become the type of person who can already have those 100 pounds off, meaning the habits that you're having, the mindset of the person who is 100 pounds lighter than you are. When you do that, then you get to actually have that 100 pound weight loss. See, when I was trying to lose weight, I was backwards. I was like well, when I have the time, when I have the energy, when I have the money, then I'm going to be able to do these activities. Then I'll be able to exercise, then I'll be able to do. Once I do that, then I'll become something different. That is, like they say, bass-acquards. It's completely the opposite of how it really works in real life. You must first become something in the process. When you've become that person, you now will do the activities that that person does automatically. This is why we're talking about it happens on autopilot, because you're just the type of person. Then when you do those things, you get to have that end result. I like to ask this a lot. That is like if we were to hand you a million-dollar coaching business, how long would you have and be able to sustain a million-dollar coaching business? Probably not long, because you haven't become the type of person that runs a million-dollar business. You don't know what to do, you don't know how to think. This is not something that to degrade you. This is something that is. The greatest opportunity is when you see that for things to change, you have to change. For things to get better, you have to get better. This is what Jim Rowan was telling me. I'm like I just want to lose some weight. I pushed back against it for a little while until I realized that it was so true. I didn't have to wait for the outside to change. I need to start working on that internal transformation. That's not something that happens as quickly as a microwave, as quickly as like click in the easy button and flip it over to it. It takes time, it takes energy. The beautiful thing is, once you've been able to achieve this goal, you'll just have it naturally and you'll never lose it, ever again, because you're just that type of person.

Yeah, and it can be both really scary but super empowering at the same time, because now it's like you're in the driver's seat and that takes a mindset shift, takes a mindset shift to say, okay, I have the control, I have to become the person that does X, y and Z. Yeah, it can be a little scary, but also you're in control. Now You're in the driver's seat.

Yeah, and I also want to point out that you're not alone. You're literally here on this webinar and we're going to pour into you for the next hour and a half to two hours, as much as it takes for us to give you the strategies and the suggestions and the mindset and the way to reverse engineer all of this kind of stuff, because you're not alone. One of the things that I'm going to call out in advance is, when you get done here, if you move forward on your own and you don't find it outside of resource whether it's us or someone else, and we'll talk to you about how you can work closer with us, if you really do enjoy our energy and our values. But we just want you to find someone, find a team, find a mentor, find somebody who understands the philosophies we talked about, because it's very easy by you surrounding yourself, the environment that you're in, to either pull you this direction or this direction. You're going to get back into your normal life and people are going to think normal again and they're going to think for things to change. You have to change For things to get better. My boss has to get better. If I want something different. I just got to prey on it and just sit there and it will be given to me. I got to tell you there's a lot of people who think that way. That's how most of the world thinks, and they're still waiting, and they're still waiting for people to change and waiting for things in outside circumstances, waiting for luck, and waiting for all this stuff when it has to come from your actions and it has to come from you taking that internal look at yourself and saying, okay, for things to get better. It's time for me to get better, because the beautiful thing is, guys, is I want you to hit every single goal that you come up with today, but the truth is, if you become better in the process, that is what the true goal is. The true goal is the person that you become, the person that leads your family, the person that you role model for other people. That is, in my opinion, the true goal, which is what I believe legacy truly is is you modeling the behavior so that they don't necessarily remember your name forever, but they remember the principles you taught them forever. That's what we're after At least, that's what I'm after is to make a huge impact with that. If you're ready to do that you guys ready to do that, then we're going to go. So let's go Now. Here's the thing I want to talk about three different things, three different breakdowns that we're going to do for you guys here today. Each one of these is equally important, but they build off of the other three. What most people do is they set goals, they sit down, they think about, they dream about what they want, or they think about what other people have that are like man, I really would want a nice car like that, or I'd really want this, or I'd really want a job like that or a business like this, and they get kind of convoluted in some of the things that they want. And when we think about these, I want you to think about all three of these as steps from one to the next. You need the one before this, before you graduate, and you move on to the second one. Now we take our one-on-one clients through this a lot more extensively than we're going to be talking about here today. We're actually over multiple calls, so we can't put all of this stuff into this one workshop, but we can help you get you started Now. The first piece of this is we're going to talk about what's called core values. Core values, now, we didn't talk much about this, but I want you to really think about it like this. I don't want to complicate people. I know we have a lot of life coaches here. I know we have a lot of other business owners here from multiple different places, and I don't want to get too deep into it but I want you to think about the conscious mind and the subconscious mind. I'm going to keep this super simple. The conscious mind is what you're currently thinking right now. It's on the outside. It's 3% of your thoughts, believe it or not. It's on the outside, like what am I seeing? What am I doing? What am I smelling? What am I tasting? What am I feeling? These are like this is your conscious mind. You're conscious of this beautiful woman sitting right next to me. Well, I'm conscious of it, right, but I'm conscious of things that are kind of like happening. I'm like, oh, what do I want to eat for lunch today? Like I'm consciously thinking of that, but what happens is, most of our life is run on our subconscious mind. It's the pre-programming that happens in our brain that says when I wake up, I walk over and I get my water. When I get my water, then I go to the bathroom. When I go to the bathroom, I brush my teeth. When I brush my teeth, I walk downstairs, and when I walk downstairs I grab this. You don't think about it, but most of your day is on autopilot. Most of the things that are happening are happening subconsciously. You don't even realize they're happening, but they're running the show. So one of our jobs here today is we want to make this unconscious stuff that maybe you're doing or thinking about. We want to bring it to your conscious, because when you bring it to your consciousness, then you have the ability of changing it. But if deep down inside you don't believe you're good enough, if deep down inside you don't believe you could lose that weight, if deep down inside you don't believe you can have that goal or whatever that is, we need to bring that to the conscious mind because we need to uproot it. We need to not just pretend like everything's positive. We need to see it, bring it up and go. Okay, now we can attack it. I like to say this to my clients Is this you don't know what you're fighting against. How are you going to fight against it? And the truth is you can't because you push it down, you pretend like it doesn't exist, you don't talk about it, you don't have a coach who understands how to work through that with you, and so this is what's really running the show. It's our past programming. It's maybe things that our kids or our parents have said, maybe it's things that we learned in school. Maybe it's things that some of the kids said. Whatever that is, it's kind of like trapped in here and now it's running on the subconscious mind. Now, when I talk about core values, for example, core values is something that is core to you and nobody can tell you what your core values are. Only you can. Core values are something that happens on the inside and then you bring it to the outside, meaning you don't go on the outside to find your core values, you go onto the inside to find your core values. Your core values are kind of like your North Star. They point you in the direction of. This makes me feel like I'm living on purpose. When people say it's purpose, potential, passion, all that stuff, I like to think of them as core values. It's the near and dear values that matter the most to me. Now, the reason why this is so important is because most people don't take the time to identify their core values. They just jump to the setting goals and they're like I just want to set goals. Now, if you're a client of mine, I'm going to be listening for the values based off of your goals and making sure that you are staying true to your values. One of the things your subconscious will literally throw in a monkey wrench to is if you believe that you have to sacrifice your family in order to see success in your business, you will not work your business as hard as it needs to be worked and go through all of the pain and struggle of it, because it's going to sacrifice your family Subconsciously, before you even know about it. You're sabotaging it. You're thinking about ways that you can get out of it. You're thinking about. I don't think this is going to work for me. If you can get to the root of it and find out why that's the case, this case identifying what is near and dear to you, what your values are, then you literally have the roadmap for you to be able to travel to get there. Now you're going to hear one thing when Teresa jumps on about setting your goals for the new year, one of the things we talk about is setting about a personal and professional goal. The reason why is because you have to be in alignment with your core values. Your core values are, like I said, your compass. They help you determine if you get to the end of the day. Did you feel like you were productive or did you feel like you were just busy? The beautiful thing and this can be a difficult thing is the tug between core values. Some people are like but I love to make an impact on my business. I just want to work my business, but then it pulls me away from my family. I just want to be able to spend time, a really high quality time, with my family, but it's pulling me away from my business. There's going to be this flow between them, but understanding that they're both your values now, you can now have a filter. The filter is like this action that I'm going to take is it an alignment with my value of my business making my impact? Is it in the value of me prioritizing my health? Is it in the value of my family? Because if it's in the value of all those, let's do it, but if it's not, then it's a hell. No, sorry, that might crush my business, but if I'm away from my family for six months, that's definitely going to crush my family and I'm not willing to do that. And so having this filter of core values also shows you where you can spend time, where you should spend your energy, and gets you to know when you feel off, why you feel off, so that you can jump in and you can correct it. Now I told you a little bit of the story related to my dad as I was growing up hardest worker ever. What I didn't realize is that when I started to grow my business and when I started to even in my career, wanted to rank up through the LAPD, I was ignoring some of my most important core values. Now, if you're to talk to me now, my core values are health, their family, their impact and its integrity. So those are our four things. These are also in our business, modern leadership. These are the four things we think about every time we go to put together a video. It's these four things of our core values it's health, it's family, it's impact and it's integrity. And what I was doing is I was making an impact at LAPD. I was not focusing on my health and I was not focusing on my family and I most definitely was focusing on integrity. That's literally what I did as a police officer. So having two out of the four core values would sometimes make me feel good when I'm at work, when people are like oh Mark, you're doing so much hard work, but what it did is. It prevented me from taking back this part of my life where it was my health and my family that I really wanted to prioritize. I remember hearing this quote from Aaron Walker. He says I don't come home with a pocket full of money to a home full of strangers. Here's the thing when you're juggling the balls of life, the family ball is glass. Some of the other ones are kind of like rubber and they can bounce back. Your family cannot bounce back. So to me, I'm like this is my priority and it has to be something that I flow everything to. So when I was even joining business mastermind groups and programs and stuff like that, I came to find out that if that person wasn't family centered, if that person wasn't somebody who wanted to focus on their health as well, I'm like I love you, but this is not for me, because it's not in alignment with what I want to be the hustle culture. I'm absolutely against it. When people say you have to hustle your face off. I'm like, yeah, I tried that and it didn't work. It's when I stopped hustling that I made 10 times as much money, which is crazy to say that, but it is the truth, because that energy of you trying to be something to everyone is not sustainable. And when you can boil it down to your core values, that is truly when you know that you are on the right track and you're putting your time and energy where it's really best spent. Now I kind of told you how important these core values are, but you have to find a way to really identify what your core values are, the way that we do it. We do it instead of our programs. We ask really powerful questions to help you be able to identify what's near and dear to you into your heart. And when you realize these are my core values, you now have to step into it and go. Okay, this is the filter that I run everything through. If my family's important, if my impact is important, if my whatever those words are, they don't have to be the same words as me. I hope they're not the same words. As me, I want you to tap into yours. It will help you feel and be able to make decisions and feel more like you're living on purpose and tap you into creating your goals. Now, before I pass it to Teresa, I want to point this out If there's something that sometimes pulls you away from working your business, if there's something where, like you just don't know what it is, but you feel like you're stuck, you feel like it feels inauthentic to do, you feel like when you do this thing, you feel like you're forcing it, I want you to realize that it could be that you're trying to go against your core values and your subconscious is not going to let you do that. It's going to refuse, it's going to say, nope, that's not going to happen. Your core value is this this is what we really near and dear to us, make us feel powerful. If you're going out of alignment from that, you're not going to be able to sustain it. I also want to take this one step further. That is like if you're trying to force something like, let's say, you're a coach and you're trying to get somebody to show up for something and it goes against their core values, you're going to have a very difficult time because you're going to be trying to force them through something that feels out of alignment from them and who they are and what's most important to them. When you do have those moments, I want you to really take a step back and go. You know what. This is what happened when we were on this workshop. Mark was talking about core values. Maybe this person feels like it's out of alignment with their core values and maybe if I just ask some questions, I can really find out. But also don't forget for you, too, when you feel out of alignment, when you feel like, ah, it's just the same old rat race over and over and over again. Really sit down, slow down, identify your core values, get a coach on your side. Hopefully you can ask you some powerful questions to fight it out, so that you have and know where that true North is. Now last piece even though I already said that was the last piece is some of you guys are like okay, mark, maybe I do know about core values, but I'm struggling with posting on social media. If you know your core values, you put them out to the world. You will attract people who have those same values. So if you're like family is super important and you start talking about family. Everybody else who doesn't care about family is like, eh, I'm out of here and they stop following you, which is the greatest thing you could ever have, because I don't know about you. I want a team of people who value the same things that I value, because I don't want to be against the grain. I don't want to be around a whole bunch of people who are like I just want to make a ton of money. I don't really care about my kids. One of the things I was reading I knew you guys read the book from David Goggins. It's a really powerful book, but I refuse to allow him to be my mentor Because he ruined his family connection and it's really not that much of a priority to him. So for me, I'm like he's great at motivational speaking, but I'm also not going to be following his advice because of what he actually created in his life. I don't want to create that. Now. Some people would push back against me and go no, like he's the greatest person to learn from. I'm like no kind of like. The greatest person to learn from is somebody who is able to have it all, who has been able to find ways to succeed, because those are the people that I know are like in alignment with my values. But when you know your values, it will give you unlimited content to talk about. Because if you're like, oh, on Monday I can talk about health, on Tuesday I can talk about family, on Thursday I can talk about impact, on Friday I can talk about something related to integrity, and you can talk about it in a way where people know and trust you, that is more likely going to get people to go. I know what that person stands for and a willy to get behind them. Because if you're not, if you're just that every you just agree with everybody, like they don't know if they can trust you and being able to build that trust by sharing your values, by implanting it even in all of your content I mean, how much of you guys have already heard my values so far just from being on this webinar? Some of you guys is the first time you've ever heard us, right? You're like, oh, I know what his values are because I'm talking about them. Right, and I'm not talking about them because you have to have them. I'm talking about them because when I put my stake in the ground. You either say I like them or I don't like them. Either way is totally fine with me, but I want to make sure that you're doing that for your people too. All right, that was core values. Anything on that before you hit up the next one?

No, okay, let's move on, but not that that's not important. That is the most important thing that we talk about here, because really, it's the foundation. It's the foundation of what you're going to be doing. Like he said, you start to become the person who has what it is that you want, right. So now let's kind of think about what it is that you want, begin with the end in mind. They say right, because you have to kind of picture that in order to start doing the things that you need to do in order to get there, right. And this is like something that obviously we talk about goals. You're like well, what is it that you want? And you're probably tired of hearing that. Right, because how many times have you created goals that you haven't achieved? Over and over and over again, you find yourself December 30th. You're like I'm in the same spot that I was last year, december 30th, 2022, right. So it kind of gets like you get jaded because you're just like well, I keep coming up with these goals and I just can't do it. And obviously, now that you know about core values, that could be a switch in this whole thing. But also, you have to realize what it is that you truly want? Like not what, hey, everybody else is doing or everybody else is achieving. It's like no, you have to really understand what it is that you truly want, because what most people do is they look to the outside to figure out what they want and, as you can probably tell, that's not going to get you to where you want to go, because the things that you're doing are not in alignment with what you want. Right? So it has to be something that you can consistently do, not that other people are telling you that you need to consistently do. It's. You need to find out what it is that you want so that you can feel like, okay, I'm living in my core values and I'm moving towards those goals that I truly want, right.

Can I add something? Yeah, I want to ask you a question on that, because when it comes to identifying what you want, some people look to the outside and they're like I want a business that does this, and you think about all of the beautiful rainbows and unicorns and all that kind of stuff. But a lot of times it's kind of like from a painful moment, right, when you're like no, this is what I want. And a lot of times it's not tangible, right. It's not that tangible thing of like I want to make a million dollars in a business and it's like why do you want to make a million dollars in the business? What are you trying to solve? What problem are you trying to solve that you're going through or that you potentially see? So I kind of want to see if you can share, like kind of like there was a bunch of stuff that happened, right, that gave us our why in terms of why we're doing this and what we truly want. But the day that you were trying to get to the mother's day thing, I want to see if you can share that real quick, because that helped us identify why we were doing this and what we really wanted, and it's not what people think of like getting on stage and doing all that. Have a podcast and a YouTube channel, because that would have not fulfilled us right At all, so can you share that a little bit?

Yeah, and I need to give a little bit of a background, because so he's talking about a mother's day event. So I was working full time outside the home we both were, obviously and I think the kids were about two and three at the time Actually, at that moment they were a little bit older, but they were still young. My daughter was in preschool and she was talking about this thing that they were doing for mother's day and I was so happy because it was actually happening in the evening, so it was happening after work and I was like finally I could actually make an event right, because it's not like in the middle of the day when I couldn't take off work. So I was so excited and I was driving to the event and there was traffic I mean, we live in LA so I was stuck in gridlock, right, and I thought I'm going to be late and my daughter, alyssa, was talking about this thing that they were going to do as something really, really special and she was super excited and it was a secret so she couldn't really tell me the details. So my heart was just broken that day because I thought, okay, I finally got a chance to actually go to this event and be like a part of my kid's life, in these moments that you know, something she was really excited about and I missed it and it was like one of those things that like it happened, it would happen over and over again. But this moment was like I don't know. It felt like it hit me harder, I think. So I told Mark I'm like listen, like I was probably crying and stuff, like because even now when I talk about it I almost want to cry. So I was telling him about it and I think he kind of you know, he was just listening and it wasn't that particular day, but it was later on he approached me and he said what if we actually worked hard so that you didn't actually even have to go to work? Because it was like this theme of I keep missing this stuff with my kids and at the time, like it seemed absolutely crazy because my plan before kids, my plan or our plan, was like we're just going to have these careers and we had achieved that, like we had awesome jobs and things changed when we had kids and I, when he brought that up, I was like, are you crazy? Like that's ridiculous. We have really great jobs, really like well-paying jobs and we were able to afford a home and everything and we could, you know, do a lot of things. But now, with our time, like we had the money but we didn't have the time and we knew that we only had limited time with our kids and they were only going to be small for a short period of time. So he was like what if we do this? What if we work hard? And I'm like at first I just wasn't, I wasn't getting it. I was like I can't do that. But over time, like I started to think about it and I'm like that would be awesome and I think that's what I truly want. I think that's what I want for us. And then we started working on it. We started working on it and I think about a year and a half later I left my job. Now other things happened after that that were real, real struggled. Like I'm not saying that everything just was like amazing afterwards, but the point is that I that event opened my eyes to the possibilities. It actually opened my eyes to this is a problem and there's a solution for it, and that's what I truly want. Why not go for it?

Right, yeah, I love that. I love that. I actually still remember when she had that conversation with me, because I took that personally, because I didn't take that as like, oh, there's traffic in Los Angeles. I took it as I failed, like I put all of my time and effort into doing this and the one thing that I want to be able to control, which is time with our kids. It's my fault, but I will never allow this to happen again. There's a different feel when you find the real reason why you're willing to do something. If you want to make a ton of money, you want to make a ton of impact, you are looking to live in a great house and have a great car, that's good until it gets hard. But when you realize that you're in the middle of the hard right now and you're unwilling to make this thing happen again and again and again, so that when your kids get older, all they remember is grandma and grandpa like raising them, and not you being able to raise them, a fire gets inside of you that will make you unstoppable. It doesn't matter if three people show up to your webinar. It doesn't matter if somebody says no to you. It doesn't matter if you're going to post them a reel. What are people going to think? I don't care, because I refuse to allow. And I could picture it in my mind Teresa walking in and my daughter being on the teacher's lap and being so excited to see her. But then also, mom, you missed it. You missed what we've been working so hard for and it's those moments that, like literally, can transform people's lives when they get that time back and I feel like I had to let her down. So when Teresa asks you this next question, I want you to dig deeper than just skin deep. I want you to dig deeper than oh, my pants will fit if I reach this weight, or you know what, I'll be able to retire just from my job? Just retiring from my job would not have been enough for me to go through the hard things we had to do, the skills we had to develop. We were talking about this yesterday. I think I stopped counting after 43 different courses and trainings and masterminds and programs that I've been a part of, because I was like I'm just going to stop counting, I'm just going to keep doing it. It's not easy to go from that to that to that, because you think one thing is going to fix you and you don't realize it's the entirety. Counting $2,000 more per year is probably not going to get you to become something different. It's going to do more of what is currently working. So what if you took your goal from $40,000 to $300,000? Well, you'd have to have a different filter of some of the things that you're doing, because the person who makes $40,000 a year is at a different level of growth than the person who makes $300,000 a year. And so when you think about that and you're like $300,000 is my goal now, your brain is pre-programmed to find all of the answers to that solution, because it doesn't know where to find the answers right now. But if your brain had just incremental improvements, you would have been trapped in here. It'd be like nope, I know what to do. I just got to do a little bit more. I just got to push a little bit more, I got to sleep a little bit less, I got to do this a little bit more and I got to do a little bit more workouts. And that's what happens is you prevent yourself from being open-minded to things that are outside of you, which is why they're called push goals, because goals were not meant to be reached. They were meant to stretch you Meaning when you set a really big goal, it makes you become somebody else, different in the process, and then you get to keep that goal once you get it, because you just naturally perform at it right. And this is that piece where we're talking about on autopilot. It has to be that point where it's so big that you have to become something different in the process. You have to do something different than what you're currently doing. But now you don't need to have the answers right now. You just have to put yourself in an environment to find it. And it's beautiful because when you do, when you listen to a podcast, when you read a book, when you watch us on YouTube, when you do whatever that thing is you're going to find the solutions that work for your solution as opposed to. I just got to work a little bit harder and stay more motivated this year, like, if that didn't work last year, it's not going to work this year. Remember for things to change, we have to change. For things to get better, we have to get better. And this is how we do that. We give ourselves stretch goals and we're okay if we don't hit them because we know we're becoming somebody else entirely different in the process, right? So that is step number two.

Yeah, and talk about the visualization piece.

Okay, yes, so let's do this. This is the second part of it. Okay, this is something that I take a lot of my clients through and it is really impactful. Actually, right before this, I was taking a walk in the rain. I'm doing 75 hard. Teresa is like why are you going to walk in 75 hard? Is it going to work out? I got to do it at five in the morning and it's raining, but as I was going, I listened to YouTube videos and stuff like that and I was listening to this neuroscientist and I love when I talk to somebody who actually knows how to verbalize it in science of how our brain works, and she was talking about neuroplasticity and that is how your brain is able to adapt and to change and to literally become an entirely different person. She said that there are studies that shows that it goes up to 70 years old and some people can go beyond that, where they're literally reshaping their brain, and when they dive into this science, it's incredible at what it can do for them. Now, what was awesome is, as I was listening to this, I was like this is literally what we're teaching today on this call, like it really fired me up. But she brought up one more thing that I want to take you through today. So I'm like I do that too. I just didn't know if we were going to have enough time, and it looks like we're going to have enough time, and it's a process of visualization, okay. So I want to hear, before we go, I want to hear in the chat what is your measurable goal, your personal and professional goal, for next year? I'm going to give you a second to literally write it out in the comments, because I this is an interactive thing where I want to see your goals. So if I could remove all the pain, all the struggle, all the sacrifice, all the difficult things it takes, what measurable goal would you want to achieve for your business? And what measurable goal would you want to achieve in your personal life? For some of you guys, I love it. Amber. Amber says $100,000 in one year. I love it. How about a personal goal, amber? What is a personal goal that you have that could be tied to making $100,000 in the year? So let me just give you an example. So some people, it's hard to quantify family connection, right, so it's very hard to go. Well, I want to just be more connected to my family. I want to feel like we just are more in synergy, that we love each other more, that we have better experiences and things like that. But what you can do, you can't quantify that. But what you can do is you can think about what are the things that would set me up to have that kind of connection. Maybe it's like you go quarterly vacations with your family away from the noisy world of chaos at home, right? Maybe it's related to how much time you spend undivided attention with them every single day. Maybe it's something related to how you connect with them. Maybe you connect with them one-on-one and sometimes family. For example, one of my goals is always to create more deeper connections and memories with Teresa and Arnalisa, and so what I do is I think about what are the types of things that I would be doing that would cause me to do that, because that's what I want to measure, and for me it's 15 minutes of undivided attention towards one person that day. So individual time minimum 15 minutes and then, throughout the week, one family activity where we're doing something without electronics, and then quarterly vacations where we get to go somewhere and it's tied to a goal related to my business Meaning if we hit a certain number of things, then we're going to go to Yosemite, and we're going to Yosemite next week. And next week we get to unplug, we get to be in Yosemite. I don't know if it's going to snow. I don't know how to drive in snow. We'll have to figure out. Maybe we'll have to call Kurt or Aaron or some East Coasters to figure out that, because we're in California. But it's when we are able to do that. Now my kids know that we were able to make an impact in people's lives and because of that now we're going to be able to go to Yosemite and it brings them into this collective piece of oh man, mom and dad are doing some important stuff, but also we get to reap the benefits of it and go to Yosemite, and now we have four or five different hikes in 20 degree weather that we're going to be doing and we have all of this family connection time. So that is how I tie my personal and my business goal together. Sometimes we use the past against us and actually it could be our greatest form of strength. Because here's the thing as you're growing, as you're doing things, last year you learned some skills, you developed some processes. You figured some stuff out. We haven't none of us have figured it all out, but because of last year and all the years before that, you've learned, you've developed. I know you, shelley, you're an incredible coach. You understand some of the pieces that most humans don't understand, and we continually to develop and become an entirely different person, and what happens is we have all of those skills but we forget about them. Now we use them against us and we say, but I haven't done this, like last year, all I did was this and this and this, and it's like, yes, but if you think about the year before that and the year before that and what you learned and what you grew and the type of person you became once, that one thing happens for us. I told you was life coaching. Everything else now gets to be used. I kind of want to hit on this for a second, guys, because so many times I get on a coaching session with someone and they're str you, you. And we forget about that when we are impacting people's lives, that yes, we have a skill or an item or something we are selling, but also we have all of the other experiences that we have had in the past, and so, instead of using that against us, why wouldn't we use that for us? Now I want you to take a check on this, guys, because I want you to check your energy now. When I just described that, now, what I did and I am going to tell you what I did is I took a head voice and I flipped it to a heart. I shared a little bit of logic in there and then I got you to see that what if there is a different way to believe about your past? What if there is a different relationship you could have with your past? And I want you to feel the energy that you feel when I did that, and I also want you to think what actions are you going to take when you are fueled by that story? That is the power of true coaching. That is the power of being able to get in there and seeing how you are using something as your kryptonite, when it is your freaking superpower, and I will point it out. And you are going to be like you are right, it is and let's go out and crush it. And it is this rewiring, because the next time it happens, the next time goals come up, shelley, you are going to go through the same path and you are going to be like wait, we talked about this, my past is for me, it is not against me, and this is how you reprogram your mind and this is how your goals happen on autopilot. They are in alignment with your core values. They are not pulling you out of your values. You have identified what you want. It is near and deep and it is like I am passionate about this. The uncomfortableness that I am in right now is way worse than the uncomfortableness of getting on social media or selling this thing or doing this. I am not willing to feel this way again. The third piece is when those head voices come up. You find a way of getting in, figuring out what is actually holding you back, reframing it and then just getting ready for the next one, because it is going to come back and your head voice is going to be like but don't you remember? You did this, come on, shelley. It is like having that little person. It is. It is this Jekyll and Hyde, and that is why we like to be on this side of your shoulder, so that you have somebody who is empowering you to go out and to crush it, because you have so much potential. It is just we hold ourselves back. And this is that third piece is really understanding how this subconscious mind is working and how we can reframe it, like, when you guys think of a salesperson, what comes up for you? Close your eyes, keep them, probably. What do you think? Do you think, mark and Teresa? Because we are literally selling you on something right now. We are selling you on some new beliefs, a new system, a new thing related to your core values, a new way to set goals. We just sold our kids on coming down and eat food so they can go back upstairs and so they don't make noise. We sold our dog on being quiet because we kind of like put this little like bone in there with him so that he could eat it. And that is literally what we are doing. You are selling every single day. That is just what you are doing. We are all doing it. We are selling people to marry us. We are selling people, of course, to like, buy our program or products, but in reality, what we are doing is we are selling them on a dream that they could have something different. And if they want that thing and we know how to get it. Why wouldn't we want to sell them on that dream so that they can get it and actually change their life? Did you know that you have been sold to and it has changed your life forever? Think on that for a second, just think about that. And it is because we have this preconceived, subconscious thought about selling and when we realize, oh seriously, literally selling changes people's lives, we can have a different relationship, not only with that word, but realize that that is what we do. I like to sell hope around here. It is for sale. I am going to do whatever I can to sell it to you because I 100% believe it is true. I am not just saying it just because I feel like I want to make you guys feel good. I say it because I truly believe it when I say it and when I do that, I am selling you on that because I need you to be sold on that, because if you are not sold on that, you won't think you are good enough, you won't think it is possible, you will think your past is going to be used against you and you are not like everyone else. Oh, did you know? Not being like everyone else is a superpower. I don't want you to be like everyone else. Can you imagine my mentor, my mentor, josh? If I was just trying to be another Josh, I would be watering down who I am. I love that guy, but his values aren't the same exact as mine. He is not the same exact as me. Yeah, I would probably have a little bit more energy than I have, which is pretty crazy, right, but I don't want to be Josh. I want to be Mark 3.0, 4.0, 5.0. I am glad that we are not all the same, because if everybody was the same, it would already be taken. Even that is a total reframing of no wonder I don't want to be like anyone else. This is a really great thing that I am not like everyone else. This is my superpower. And then you think of the energy that you take into that. Even just hitting and seeing it from that different angle can totally help you reframe it. Like I said, there are usually multiple other thoughts that will come with this. Now there are multiple ones that are like the backup thoughts, the backup of the backups, and that is really why we totally believe in every entrepreneur, every parent, every athlete needs to have a coach. They need to have somebody who is a few steps ahead of them, who can give them advice, give them direction and then also put them in an environment of accountability to get them to continue to show up and to take those actions. Can you just like think on this for a second? We have all of these beautiful people on these squares. How connected do you feel? Knowing what everybody's goals are, knowing what the voices are that are holding them back, hearing some of the things that Teresa and I are saying? This is what happens when you are in this level of environment. What happens when you get out of this environment is you get tugged in everybody else's direction. You don't stay true to your core values. You get used shame, guilt, humiliation, all these things to try and get you to act, and that is absolutely something we've refused to do and it's also something that I hope you look for in some type of community or some type of team. Now I do want to share, before we get to, how you could work with us. If that's something you want to, I do want to share like a speed hack with you guys, because these first three when we talked about, like identifying your core values, figuring out what you really want. Of course, there's going to be some reverse engineering, or what are the daily actions for you to take? We didn't have time to go through that. Number three is like what are the voices and how do you reframe them and reprogram them? I found that there is this really incredible speed hack that helps me when it comes to growing and learning in an area of my life that I want to be able to excel in. I used it as a parent. I used it as a business owner for sure. I used it as a police officer. I used it when it comes to me losing weight. I use it when it comes to my relationship with Teresa. It's one of those things where I want the results and I don't want to wait for a very long time to do that. I don't want to wait five years before I'm able to do that. I want to do that in the quickest time possible. How we do that is we find the right mentors, we find the right coaches, we find the right people who've developed skills that we want to be able to develop. One of the things that I do is whenever I want to learn something, right now, it's YouTube. I'm really heavy into YouTube. I'm really heavy into doing videos and trainings and stuff on YouTube, because I feel like that is like where I'm in my lane. I love it. I enjoy it. People say that I'm good at it. I don't really believe it yet. I'm still trying to get better, but I want to learn as much as I possibly can about the platform. It's totally different than any other version of social media. You can't have DMs and stuff like that, but you have to make sure you keep people's attention. Now, when I'm going through that, I'm like okay, what is a program that I can tap into that will help me speed up the process? I can probably watch YouTube videos. I can probably Google it. I can probably listen to 42 million podcasts. But if I want to get there the quickest way possible, I'm like who has done this before and how can I get their help? I joined this program. When I was in the program, the first thing that I did is I made a post and I'm like hey guys, is anybody on the coaching team offer one-on-one coaching? I remember hearing having people comment under that. They're like you just paid for this. Why would you want to have one-on-one coaching? Why don't you just go through the program yourself first and then you can do that. I'm like I love it because I'm thinking of things differently. I like to zig when everybody else is zagging, because I know that if I connect with the actual person who put that thing together, if I connect with a person who has a lot more skill, can personalize it for me and my specific strengths, weaknesses, goals, I'm going to get there way faster than everyone else. Kavi, I didn't just think about this. I actually got monetized on YouTube and the people who signed up for the program with me have not. I don't know of anybody else who's got monetized from that program as quickly as I did, because I was willing to reach out, to have conversations, to have a mentor, to even sign up this year, to actually have somebody look at our channel again and really dive into it and figure out what I could do better or what I could do For me. It's like I want the speed boost. Yes, I like programs, but I also like to actually connect with somebody who is a few steps ahead of me, because it's different than being in a group of for accountability. I love that. It'll get me to show up, it'll get me to plug in, but when I have questions, when I need personal help, when I'm struggling with something that he's telling me on the screen and now I'm going to have to find the answer somewhere. I want to go to the source, so one of the ways that I always do that is to find out, like how can I find whether it's a mentor, a coach, a person, somebody who's a few steps ahead of me, who maybe has gone through all the struggles that I'm going to go through, who can help guide me along that path? What do you think about that?

Excellent.

I got approval from Teresa. So here's the thing we talked about these four pieces, all right, and I want you to think about this and I want you to answer it in the chat here. And that is like, on a scale of one to 10, how confident are you knowing all of these different forces that we talked about right now? How confident are you that you are going to wake up a year from now and be able to achieve this on your own? So I want to share something with you guys Now. I want you to really think about your number here today, because you could put in a real like number in terms of how you feel If you didn't have any more support. You just figured it out on your own. You took today's training and you went out and you crushed it and we could put a number in here. Also, because it's like, why don't want other people to think that I can't do this, right? But ultimately, whatever your number is in your subconscious mind not your conscious mind, your subconscious mind you will manifest every single time, meaning if you're like, well, I'm kind of like a five, you now have told me subconsciously that you believe this is not possible for you, that there's something that's going to come up. There's something on the outside, something on the inside, something that's going to just show up and it's going to be. Well, I guess this wasn't meant to be.

It's a sign.

It's a sign. I always say that, oh, it's a sign, this is a sign that I shouldn't do this, and I'm like, actually, this is a sign of something you should learn. This thing is trying to teach you something, right? And the reason why I like to bring up this like one to 10 questions is because, like we like to think in terms of like when we're really excited and happy, like it's going to be a breeze. I'm just going to think about this video for the rest of the time and what I have found is like, if this is not something that's repeated, this is not something that you tap into, this is not something that, over and over and over again, you revisit until it becomes a part of your subconscious mind. It will leave your conscious mind. I have a question how many times have you felt like you're going to crush your goal next year and three weeks later, it's like you're not taking those same actions. You're not feeling that same way. You're feeling like you know this is going to just be the same that it's always been. And that's the number that I want you to attach to, because if that number is an eight or nine or 10, you do not need us? You don't, and your number is a one or two or three, you also don't need us. You don't need us at all. We're just here to speed up this process for you, and that's why we want to talk about how we can actually work and be a part of your team. If you're like I cannot let this go slip away. What's going to happen if you try to do this on your own and a year from now, you wake up and you haven't put in that work and you haven't done the difficult things, you haven't been put in that environment. Because I know for me personally, that happened for many, many years is I didn't do that. I didn't invest my time, but more my money, but also, more importantly, my time right, and when you get to that point where you're like, a year from now, I'm going to be in the same place, but also I'm going to use the fact that a year from now, I'm in that same place to make it mean that I can't go anywhere else, and that is something that I refuse to do. That's something that I refuse to allow you to do, and that's why we're here. It's because we want to do what we can on our part to help.

Hey, it's me again. So there was a lot more to this workshop, but it was two hours long and we didn't want to put up a two hour podcast, but we did want to put a portion of it and share it with you because we know it will help you get this year going off right. You know different from past years if you have found yourself falling short of your goals year after year. By the way, if you want to check out our YouTube channel, go to modern leadership to subscribe, and if you want to sign up for my email list so you don't miss out on future workshops, go ahead and do that. I'll link to those in the show notes. Have an awesome day and I will see you next week.