Transcript
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Hey, my name is Teresa Hildebrand and this is Organized Chaos.
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We take a deep dive into living with intentionality, focusing on what's important in our lives so we can truly feel our best.
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It may feel chaotic at times, but with a little organization, the right mindset and a ton of self-love, we can still thrive.
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Join me as we talk to other busy moms and experts who will share tips and strategies to help you reach your goals.
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Hope you enjoy this episode of Organized Chaos.
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Now on to the show.
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Hey friends, welcome to this episode of Organized Chaos.
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So today I have another special guest.
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Her name is Trisha Byrne.
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She's a life and performance coach and she calls herself a manifesting generator, which means she's multi-passionate, highly energetic and driven human being.
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She found a way to balance being a mom of two and a wife with starting up her own business, all while working full-time and still maintaining time for herself and self-care.
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She spent a majority of her life being told she was doing too much and since learning how to redefine what capacity means to her, she's been able to master her time and energy so she can continue living her true potential, accomplishing many goals that she's set for herself.
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So before we get started, I do have to say that for some reason, my audio was really terrible, so I apologize in advance for the drop in audio quality, but the information that is given in this episode is truly amazing, so I really hope you enjoy, even though my audio is not so great.
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So, without further ado, here's Tricia.
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All right, welcome everyone back to the show.
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I have a super special guest with me today.
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I have Tricia, and she's going to be talking to us about energy and really kind of giving us insights into why we feel like we're at max capacity, and she's going to also share some expertise on how to kind of pivot your day-to-day and kind of take back control of your time and energy, because of course, we do a lot of things to drain our energy.
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Why not figure out how we can gain it back?
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so here's trisha, welcome hi, thank you for having me it's great to have you here and I, when we were talking back and forth about like what you know we can talk about, you mentioned energy.
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I was like, okay, let's do it.
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I love energy.
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I think energy is everything.
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But before we get into that, can you tell us a little bit about you, give us a little bit of your backstory?
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Tell us a little bit about you, give us a little bit of your backstory.
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Yeah, so I am a mom of two, I am a wife, I am an entrepreneur.
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I run my own life and performance coaching business.
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I live in Northern BC.
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It is winter like six months of the year, so we're pretty into winter sports.
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I feel like if you're not, like you're just going to be depressed six months of the year, so we do some pretty extreme backcountry sports, which I love.
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I'm starting to get the kids into some of the stuff that we've been doing.
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They're finally at that age 10 and 6, where we can actually bring them into the activities we like doing.
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So I really feel like we're in that kind of fun stage of parenthood, which is perfect because, just starting my business, I'm in that like grind season.
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So the fact that I can like they kind of balance each other out perfectly.
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Yeah, just it's working out really well.
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That sounds awesome, and I don't even want to say what temperature it is here in California, because I'm cold, I'm wearing a vest and it's like 60.
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So for California it's cold, but I'm sure you're like, oh gosh, yeah.
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Actually, it's pretty warm here today too, so it's not bad.
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Yeah, so okay.
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So let's talk about energy, like um, what, what do you?
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What did you find that?
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Uh, maybe kind of like a struggle that you had in your life where you started to kind of dig deeper into this.
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Yeah, so, um, I I'm going to kind of backtrack a fair bit, Um, but, but to kind of speak to this, what prompted me to start looking back and reflecting on this was as I was having conversations with people about starting like their health and wellness routines.
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The two most common objections I got was I don't have time and I don't have energy.
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I don't have your energy, and I was like what do you mean?
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You don't have my energy.
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But it really prompted me to take some time to reflect on like.
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I haven't always been like this.
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I haven't always been the person that gets up with her alarm, dances in the kitchen and does a workout before the kids wake up like that.
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That has not always been me.
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So back in 2018, when I went back to work after our son so this is my second maternity leave that I've finished now have two kids at home.
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My daughter was four at the time.
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Son's just turning one because we get blissful maternity leave.
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I'm like you guys.
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I just hit this brick wall of fatigue and it was.
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I always equated it to like newborn baby tired.
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I was stumbling over words.
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I was getting lost mid sentence.
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I couldn't make it through an eight hour shift at work without having a nap.
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I was very lucky we had a couch in the cafeteria and I would sit down and I would eat as fast as I could and I would nap the rest of my break.
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And it started to get to a point where, when I would get home, I was so overwhelmed trying to decide what to cook dinner that it would leave me just like crumbled on the floor in tears.
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I had nothing left to give.
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I was passing out when I was reading the kids' bedtime stories Some nights, I was passing out just sitting on the couch and like at 28, I was in 2018, I was 25 years old and and to hit that point that early on, I was like something is not okay and and there was some stuff that you know I went to my doctor and was like this isn't normal.
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And they're like, oh, it's just like you're back to work, you have two kids, it's totally normal.
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And we went on vacation.
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We were able to go to Mexico for a family wedding and when we came back, I was like I'm still tired.
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We were getting 12 hours of sleep at night because, you know, kids sleep when they've gotten all that sunshine.
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We caught up and I still came home just wiped and we were able to do blood work and we found that my thyroid was out and I have an autoimmune disorder and there's those pieces.
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But mentally I was still just exhausted.
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Even when we got the medication figured out, it was still just this like dragging my feet survival mode through day to day life.
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And and it wasn't until the pandemic and I think a lot of us had some kind of wake up moments when that happened that it was just like I don't want to keep living like this, I can't keep up with my kids, I don't want to do anything with them on the weekend, I just want to sleep in, I just want to go to bed early.
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And it was just that wake up moment for me that it was like you're not even 30 yet.
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If you don't have the energy now, like when are you going to have it?
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And that was kind of that was kind of what led me into into doing this style of work.
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Yeah, I mean, I'm sure everyone who's who's, who's listening can kind of relate to this, because we don't even realize how much just day-to-day life can drain us.
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And it's not just like the physical things that we do, but it's a lot of.
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It is the, the mental load that we have.
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It's like and of course you know, going through life events, transitions in your life that can cause a lot of those issues.
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But when it gets to the point and you said like you realize that this was just not normal, like something's got to give right, something's got to change, got to change, I feel like that's kind of where people start to look for changes and start to look for solutions when it gets to the point, when it gets to the breaking point, basically.
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But I want, I want to shift into capacity, because you talk about capacity like energy and capacity.
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So define capacity and how does kind of energy play a role in that?
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Yeah.
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So this was kind of a fun exploration that I've just kind of come to with, with being able to tie it all together and kind of connect the dots.
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But capacity is this, this place where, you know, a lot of people feel like I'm at max capacity, I'm doing too much, I have too much on my plate, like we can kind of have these, like these phrases that all seem to kind of point back to this place that basically just says that you feel like you were doing so much that you can't take on anymore.
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So when people start to feel like I wish life would slow down, like I'm just stretched too thin, like all of those kind of phrases that, if anything comes up for you, when you hear those you're like, yes, that's me.
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You are probably feeling right now that you're running at max capacity and I like to kind of paint this visual of you know it.
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I try so hard to pull away from the whole fill your cup thing because it's such a cliche, but but when I was sitting down to figure out, you know how can I explain this capacity piece to somebody else?
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Unfortunately, the cup.
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The cup is the best way to explain it.
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But if we look at.
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You know, we have a cup and and that's like our potential, right, regardless of what's in it or anything like that like this is our potential, this is is this is what we're capable of accomplishing and doing.
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And you know, when the cup is full, we have like our max capacity is all the way up here.
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But what happens is, over time, the more we go to the back burner, the more that our self-care slips that lid just comes down lower and lower and lower in the glass and and now what we feel is our max capacity and this is a really important piece that I emphasize is we feel that we are at max capacity, but we're not actually because our potential is all the way up here, but because we haven't been giving to ourselves like we don't have the energy to raise that lid.
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So when we look at filling the cup and then the cheesy things, we can look at it, as you know, when we do these things, it raises that lid so that now we're able to do all of these things that we're capable of.
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So how energy kind of plays into this is, you know, a lot of times people feel like I don't have the capacity, I don't have the energy to do these things and it's this scarcity mindset that sees that this is the energy I have to put in to do the workout, to meal prep, to get some social time in, to get some sleep.
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Sometimes too right Like we have this thought of the energy that's going to go in and we forget to look at how much we stand to gain on the other side and it might not be right away.
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Right when we first start waking up with our alarm.
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It is exhausting.
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We can't get around it.
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There's some growing pains that come there that we have to kind of push through for a little bit.
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But we have to always see that when we do this activity, the energy we gain on the other side increases that capacity.
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And for a lot of high performers, especially entrepreneurs if you're an entrepreneur, you're probably a high achiever like that does not happen without the other.
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Yeah, when we have that increased capacity, when we're operating at our true potential, when we are energized, you have clarity, and when a high achiever has clarity, it's like everything is supercharged.
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Like these are the people that that don't have a doubt in their mind that when a task is given to them, they will get it done Right, they have ideas that they can act on.
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Like, they're able to show up as their best self in every single area of life because they have the capacity to do so.
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And this can be physical capacity, mental capacity, even just that capacity for your energy.
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Right, we actually have some to give, because we've given enough to ourselves.
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Does that make sense?
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Yeah, absolutely.
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There are so many nuggets in there and I have never heard the cup analogy, that way, where your lid starts to get lower and lower and as you start to focus more on gaining some energy and gaining, like you know, raising that lid, you know you start to truly live to your fullest potential.
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And there was something else that you mentioned and the high achievers.
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So when you see people like, let's say, you see them on social media or you know them in real life and you see they're like how do they do all of this?
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Right, how are they so energetic?
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How are they achieving so much?
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And it could just be that, like, some people are naturally like that, like they're super high charged and it's kind of crazy, right.
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But then there are others that have done what you said.
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Right, that they've worked on this, on your max capacity in a good way.
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Right, where you have that positive energy, you are taking care of yourself, but also we do have a max.
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And when you're running on that max capacity and you're doing all of the things, you also need to take more care of yourself, wouldn't you agree?
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Yes, and that is.
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I think that that's like it's almost a fine line to walk right, because when we get to that point where we're like, look at all these things I'm doing, I'm so excited about them, like that's my Achilles tendon is, I'm excited about everything I'm doing.
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So I want to keep doing it and I'm like, but these are things I'm passionate about and I'm excited about and like, in the moment, we just want to like, keep scratching that itch right, but that is when it's most important.
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Um, you know, my favorite example is when I like I want to wake up and I want to crush a workout because I have the energy, even though today was a planned rest day and I could do yoga, I could do recovery work, but I don't want to.
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But it's a lot of doing things because you planned to do them, not necessarily because you want to do them in that moment.
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So it really is like intentionally scheduling in your downtime, because in the moment, a high achiever doesn't want to slow down, not from a place of pressure, guilt, from a place of excitement and passion.
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So it really is like finding that balance for yourself, because some people might just need 15 minutes a day, some people might just need Sunday, like.
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That's going to look different for everybody, depending on the tasks that you have, whether you have kids or not.
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My husband's currently working away.
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My capacity looks very different everybody, depending on the tasks that you have, whether you have kids or not.
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Significant other my husband's currently working away.
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My capacity looks very different.
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So so yeah, it is just that assessment of am I serving best, serving myself here.
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Yeah, yeah, I love that Because it can be different for everybody.
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I know that my husband is we're different people.
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My husband is that like go, go, go, like max capacity, and I'm more mellow and I know myself and I know the energy that I put out and I have to find that harmony even within my days, and I know that after a certain time, like right now, this is where I'm reaching that, that that energy capacity, I guess, where after this, it's kind of like okay, now I need to go eat lunch and, you know, rest and just like rest my brain a little bit, because I've been up for a long time.
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Getting the kids ready today was extra special I worked.
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So I know myself and I know that, like you said, being intentional and knowing yourself and knowing when you need those rests, not just physically but just mentally, like no more, you know, looking at things that are really going to, you know stimulate your brain and stuff.
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So I really do relate to that.
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So how has this helped you in your life?
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And having this realization and knowing yourself, how has this kind of really helped you reach your goals?
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Yeah.
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So I always add a caveat to this at the very beginning, that I am a human being.
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It is definitely not perfect, but I it kind of does.
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This thing I call is closing the gap.
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And, and as I've gotten better and better at this, I find that, you know, initially burnout was insane.
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I worked in health care for 10.
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What year is it?
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It's 11 years.
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Worked in health care for 11 years.
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Burnout was like synonymous with everything that I felt every day, and so for a while it was, you know, I could do a couple of days in a row and then I kind of like peter out, crash and burn for the weekend.
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And you know, I think a lot of people can relate to that cycle where it's like you're all in for five days and then you fall off for two and then you're back in for five and this stuff.
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This, because it is a practice, is I could go longer and longer stretches before I was taking that like day off from it, right, where you're like I just don't, I just don't want to care about what I'm eating today, I just want to sleep in, like whatever those things are.
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And then the time off started to get shorter and shorter as well, where you know, sometimes people can fall off for like three weeks a month kind of thing, before you get sick and tired and you come back to the routines and that whole.
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Like we have many areas that we can go in, but you want to get to this place where I could start to go more days in a row with my routine before I was taking that break or something would happen or whatever.
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But then even closing the gap on, you know, when you get sick or the kids are sick and you're up all night like maybe now it's just like one day to reset Right.
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So now you end up with longer and longer stretches where you're doing everything, you're taking care of yourself, and shorter and shorter periods where you're taking this, this space from it.
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And it's gotten to a point now where I can go months before I have like a bad day, and sometimes that bad day is just a check-in to see like, okay, wait, where have you been doing too much, like how can we rein it back in a little bit?
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Um, but really the biggest thing for me and this is something I was reflecting on um just the other day, because I seen somebody shared a meme and it was something about how you know you want to like clean the house after the kids go to bed, but the second that the kids go to bed you're just like done.
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I was like I actually don't know the last time I ended the day like that.
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I don't know the last time I put the kids to bed and thought, thank God I can hit the couch.
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And that was big for me because for a while that was a lot, that was daily.
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And then sometimes, like we just don't even realize how far we've come until we have these moments that it's like wait, I actually don't know the last time I struggled with that.
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It's just become what I do and that's like a really beautiful place to get to, where the thing that used to take all of your effort, all of your energy, all of your focus is now just part of what you do.
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And that's why now you can end the day not like just crashing and burning on the couch, right.
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Yes, yes, I love that.
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And what is a tip that you can give someone who is feeling that that pressure and that that lack of energy and just feeling like their their tank is, is just empty?
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Like what would you, what tip would you give to that person where they can start doing something now, where they can, they can start to take the steps towards having more energy and and more time and capacity for themselves.
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Yeah, so you actually just said it.
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It was to start doing something now.
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That's like that's the perfect piece.
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And you know, it's really easy for us to want to go all in.
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We want to do the routines we think about, like January, when everybody starts their workouts and the nutrition, and all of these things start small, start with one thing, and this is something that I wanted to, as you were sharing this.
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Like that, you're hitting that, that point in the day where you're like I need a break, like I'm going to have lunch, like these things.
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In the moment, just ask yourself what you need most and and this is something that when, when I work on recharging with people like this is something that we do a really deep dive into is what sense is the most overstimulated for you and for a lot of us, especially entrepreneurs, it's the blue light, it's a screen time, it's something in front of your face.
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So if you're getting to the end of the day, you're like I have no energy, I can't go for a walk, I can't do those things like check in on what you could do, because maybe the most beneficial thing for you and this is my favorite point to highlight is we can be so burnt out, spending all day in front of screens and then when the kids go to bed, we sit on the couch and put a screen back in front of our face.
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Yeah, and that's why.
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That's why, even though we spend two, three hours on the couch at night watching Netflix, scrolling TikTok, whatever that is, we still don't feel energized.
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It's because we've been fueling that thing that's been draining our energy all day.
00:22:42.407 --> 00:22:44.522
We're just adding fuel to that fire.
00:22:44.522 --> 00:22:55.663
So, just taking that moment to kind of check in and say, like, what do I actually need and what can I manage, and being okay with starting small.
00:22:55.663 --> 00:23:06.703
You know, a lot of times people fall into the comparison trap, where they're like my neighbor runs five miles a day and I can't even get off the couch Like go, just walk your block.
00:23:07.265 --> 00:23:12.323
And that's something that I really try to normalize with people is that this isn't about anybody else.
00:23:12.323 --> 00:23:19.109
This is just about what serves you today, and what serves somebody today might not be what serves them tomorrow.
00:23:19.109 --> 00:23:30.000
If you've been running around on your feet, like taking kids to appointments and activities and all of these things, you probably don't need to go for another walk, right?
00:23:30.000 --> 00:23:32.605
You already have 15,000 steps.
00:23:32.605 --> 00:23:43.308
You don't need another five, maybe doing some yoga or some stretching or have a bath, like give your body some love, right?
00:23:43.308 --> 00:23:44.056
So it's a lot of.
00:23:44.056 --> 00:23:51.698
Start small, ask yourself what you need and do the opposite of whatever it is that's been draining your energy all day.
00:23:51.698 --> 00:23:53.982
Just find what the opposite of that is.
00:23:55.285 --> 00:23:56.247
Such great tips.
00:23:56.247 --> 00:24:14.769
So what would you say to you know, as as words of encouragement, as we kind of wrap this up a little bit what would you say or what would you want to hear, like, when you were in that, in the thick of it, what is some encouraging words you can give?
00:24:15.954 --> 00:24:44.967
Oh, this one's always so hard for me because when I look back to who I was and where I was, I'm so stubborn that I don't think it would have mattered what anybody said to me, like I had to get to that conclusion on my own um what works for one doesn't work for all, and and this is something that um in a workshop that I that I previously helped run on on balance and ditching y'all or nothing, we use this phrase that like it's never one size fits all.
00:24:45.367 --> 00:24:51.863
Have you ever tried to put on like one size fits all pants?
00:24:51.863 --> 00:24:56.509
Yeah, they fit a very small group of people and and that's it right.
00:24:56.509 --> 00:24:59.798
So, so, even when we have one size fits all clothes, they, they don't.
00:24:59.798 --> 00:25:01.901
They don't actually fit everybody the same.
00:25:01.901 --> 00:25:17.924
So just remembering that like what works for somebody else isn't maybe going to be what works for you, and just finding that, you know, I just think like it's really connecting with yourself, is trusting your intuition.
00:25:17.984 --> 00:25:25.265
That first voice that says I should pick up the toy on the floor so that I don't like have to think about it every time I walk past it.
00:25:25.265 --> 00:25:26.028
Just pick it up.
00:25:26.028 --> 00:25:33.659
If you think about folding laundry, just fold the laundry right, like whatever it is that that little voice on the inside is saying I should do this.
00:25:33.659 --> 00:25:37.048
Do it Because it's saying that you should do it for a reason.
00:25:37.048 --> 00:25:53.188
And I think that we just we discredit yeah, we discredit the small things so much and then we lose out on them, because a hundred small things in a day adds up to probably way more than that one big thing.
00:25:53.188 --> 00:26:02.327
So just yeah, just to not compare yourself to other people, or to who you were yesterday, or your kids or anybody.
00:26:02.327 --> 00:26:04.016
Just just listen to what you need.
00:26:05.358 --> 00:26:09.008
That's awesome well, trisha, this was amazing.
00:26:09.008 --> 00:26:10.732
Thank you so much for being here.
00:26:10.732 --> 00:26:15.282
If people want to check you out, where is the best place they can find you?
00:26:16.105 --> 00:26:17.487
yeah, I thank you for having me.
00:26:17.507 --> 00:26:18.336
This is so fun.
00:26:18.336 --> 00:26:22.304
Um, instagram instagram is the best way to connect with me.
00:26:22.304 --> 00:26:30.848
Um, on a personal level, I I show up very real, very raw, in my stories the good days, the bad days, all of those things.
00:26:30.848 --> 00:26:35.208
Um, I share lots of mindset shifts and stuff like that in my content.
00:26:35.208 --> 00:26:38.436
Um, so, yeah, if you do come, don't be a stranger.
00:26:38.596 --> 00:26:41.924
I love I always say I love using social media to be social.
00:26:41.924 --> 00:26:45.540
Come, say hi, let me know that you heard me on this podcast.
00:26:45.540 --> 00:26:47.345
Share what your greatest takeaway was.
00:26:47.345 --> 00:26:49.856
Um, I'm a very social.
00:26:49.856 --> 00:26:51.799
I'm a very social introvert.
00:26:51.799 --> 00:26:54.444
Um, I love talking.
00:26:54.444 --> 00:26:56.147
I love deep conversation.
00:26:56.147 --> 00:27:04.820
I don't like it's funny when we're like the weather is like better than mine and yours and all these things, but like I don't want to talk about the weather, I want want to talk about how you were.
00:27:04.820 --> 00:27:08.469
Like I heard you and I felt you when you were saying this.
00:27:08.469 --> 00:27:11.181
Or you know, I've been working on this.
00:27:11.181 --> 00:27:16.800
I love when people message me and they're like, hey, you said that thing and I've been implementing it and this has been really cool.
00:27:16.800 --> 00:27:19.968
So, yeah, don't be a stranger, reach out, say hi.
00:27:24.394 --> 00:27:24.736
OK, so did you.
00:27:24.736 --> 00:27:28.079
I don't know if you said your handle.
00:27:28.099 --> 00:27:28.861
So what's your handle?
00:27:28.861 --> 00:27:33.647
It is Trish93, because I don't know how to change it Now.
00:27:33.647 --> 00:27:34.990
It's everywhere.
00:27:35.029 --> 00:27:49.144
It's staying but like 2014, whatever I created, so that's T-R-Y-S-H and the number 93.
00:27:49.144 --> 00:27:50.628
Perfect, and I will make sure I put in the show notes.
00:27:50.628 --> 00:27:51.813
Again, trisha, thank you so much for being here.
00:27:51.813 --> 00:27:54.122
This was amazing and yeah, thank you, yeah, thank you.
