Transcript
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Hey friends, and welcome to this episode of Organized Chaos, the podcast, where we dive into complexities and triumphs of balancing entrepreneurship, family and personal growth.
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I'm your host, teresa Hildebrand, and I'm thrilled to have you here with me today.
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This episode is all about exploring the beautiful and challenging intersections of career, passion and motherhood.
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These are aspects of life that can often feel at odds.
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They can also complement each other and enrich each other in ways we might not always recognize.
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I'm joined by a truly inspiring guest today.
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Her name is Kendall Berg.
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Kendall is not only an accomplished author, ceo and career coach, but she's also a mom and knows firsthand the juggling act required to balance these demanding roles.
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She brings a wealth of experience and insights into how to navigate these overlapping spheres of life with grace and effectiveness.
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In our conversation, kendall shares her strategies for managing all the responsibilities that come with being a high achieving professional and mother.
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She goes into tools and techniques she uses to stay organized and on top of her game, offering practical advice that any mom entrepreneur can implement.
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But beyond the strategies and tips, what makes this episode really special is Kendall's openness about the human side of things.
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She candidly discusses the insecurities and self-doubts that often accompany motherhood, even for someone as accomplished as she is.
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It's a raw and enlightening conversation that highlights the importance of embracing vulnerability and seeking balance in all aspects of life.
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So let's hit the intro and dive into this empowering conversation with Kendall Berg.
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Enjoy.
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Hey, my name is Teresa Hildebrand and this is Organized Chaos.
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We take a deep dive into living with intentionality, focusing on what's important in our lives so we can truly feel our best.
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It may feel chaotic at times, but with a little organization, the right mindset and a ton of self-love, we can still thrive.
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Join me as we talk to other busy moms and experts who will share tips and strategies to help you reach your goals.
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Hope you enjoy this episode of Organized Chaos.
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Now on to the show.
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Thank you so much for being on the show.
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Thanks, teresa, I'm excited to be here.
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Thanks, Teresa.
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I'm excited to be here.
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I would love to jump into your story and how you got to being a career coach and all of the things in between.
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Absolutely so.
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I'm a very type A type woman, I guess, and I think many of us kind of go into this corporate climb the ladder mindset fresh out of school.
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A lot of women that I knew did, and I was very much the same.
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So I started my career.
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I had very clear aspirations I was going to be a CFO before I was 30, and I took very strategic jobs that supported that vision.
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I worked first in the tech space and then eventually in financial services, which is where I've been a majority of my career since and really focused on climbing that ladder quickly, managing teams, building big scale projects.
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I did a little bit of everything in the corporate world.
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So I've worked in marketing, pricing, finance, data science, tech management strategy kind of run the gambit, so to speak.
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And about seven years ago I hit a point in my career where I had a really good relationship with an executive friend of mine and he shared feedback in my performance review where he said people love working with you.
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You can get so much done, but nobody likes working with you.
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And a bit of a hit to the ego when you're this like type a highly driven, high progressing person.
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And I look back and it was one of the best moments in my entire life because it was the feedback everybody was afraid to give me but that I needed.
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And so at that point in my career I really started developing my soft skills.
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How do you communicate effectively, how do you collaborate effectively?
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I had a good female mentor, friend of mine, who I remember she gave me the advice.
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She was like, do you make small talk?
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And I was like why did I waste time on small talk?
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We're all busy.
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And she was like maybe we try that right.
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So I started building the soft skills and very quickly learned that these things that I was building in my skillset so many people I knew were struggling with, with and it was holding them back in their careers, holding them back in their progression.
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So, via word of mouth and some corporate programs, I really just started kind of casually mentoring people.
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Hey, let me help you with your communication skills.
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Let me help you with your presentation skills.
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And in 2022, my husband I had just read the book Every Good Endeavor and it is about finding kind of your purpose and how that can be shown through what you do.
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And I was like, is my purpose really just like making slides for old dude banking?
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Like, is that God made me?
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And was like slide skills, huge pour.
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And he was like, I feel like you really love coaching and you love mentoring.
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You should focus on that.
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And I was like, well, that's not a job Like people don't.
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People don't do that.
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So I posted my first video on social media in 2022 and it exploded.
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It had 4.1 million views in less than 48 hours and I had 2000 people on a wait list to work with me, which wasn't a thing.
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So I had to figure out what that was going to look like, became a career coach, started taking some of the advice I'd been giving informally and creating more formal structure around it, all the while keeping my corporate job being a mom of two and a spouse and kind of trying to navigate that.
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So it's a.
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It's a crazy journey that I've been on where I've.
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I've done all the mistakes.
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I've been there.
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I'm still there.
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There are days I'm not my best self and that's constantly helping me evolve and help and educate other people on how to find their version of career success, rather than some mysterious title that we feel like we need, and build good relationships along the way good relationships along the way.
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Yeah, that's fascinating.
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So there were so many pieces in there that I'd like to jump onto, but, like, the one that stuck out the most obviously is when you kind of came to the realization that there were things that you needed to work on, right as far as communication skills and it's awesome that you actually had people there to kind of call you out on it, right.
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But, most importantly, that you actually took that information and said, okay, that is a hit to the ego, but what can I change?
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Like I'm taking this information and I'm running with it and I kind of like made so many changes for you in a good way, right.
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But but of course, like, nobody wants to hear that, nobody wants to hear what they're doing wrong, but we can always learn from it and I do want to.
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I'll probably come back to this, the whole career thing, but I do want to talk about, like you as a mom.
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Can you dive into, like, what that life is like, right, being a mom, being a career coach, you know, still being in the corporate world and all of that like, what does that look like my career?
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That was my first thought.
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So not necessarily naturally, very like maternally inclined for being candid, right, I didn't have that moment of like, oh yay.
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I was like, oh my gosh, what if I don't get promoted, right?
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So, uh, very much in that mindset, and after my daughter was born, it was a huge shift for me where I cared so much less about career progression If it came at the expense of my family.
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Now, that being said, I'm a very productivity oriented individual, right, and I do like to have my space to be productive.
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So for me, the corporate world was still that time where I could get things done.
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It was time where I could focus on me almost and like, have that investment in, like, my personal development.
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I still saw it as something that I really valued.
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But obviously, my family became far more important.
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I was not working weekends anymore, I was not staying late, I wasn't getting to the office early Like the second I could clock out.
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I did because I had to go get my kids from daycare.
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We moved to be closer to my office, so I was spending less time away from home.
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So it's a big transition in my life into motherhood and what I will say is that for me, the most important thing before I decided to have children was that I needed a really strong support system.
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I'm very ambitious, there are lots of things I like to do, I'm very productivity oriented and I knew that I could not give my children the best experience by myself, because there were going to be things I still wanted to do for me and there still were going to be these things I needed to balance.
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And I uh, my heart goes out so much to single moms out there who may be listening to this, because I think you're facing an even more challenging position where you're trying to be at all for everybody and you're by yourself.
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I volunteer at a women's shelter here in town that specifically focuses on that population because my heart goes out to them.
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But for me, I have a really great spouse.
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I'm just going to be honest.
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He helps so much when there are things I need to do.
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Last week I was traveling for work and I was at a career offsite for five days.
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He's watching the kids, he's never complaining, he's doing dishes, and so for me, a lot of what quote unquote doing it all looks like is having a really good support system that steps in, because I cannot do it all.
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I cannot be everything to everybody.
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I'm not capable of it.
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There aren't enough hours in the day even if I don't sleep very much, and so I need that support for myself so that I can be the best me for my kids.
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And even in that I feel all the time right, like I have a long day with a lot of meetings and my daughter's like I want to play dress up and I'm like that's great, can you do it in the other room?
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Cause like mom has hit her limit of human interaction for the day Right.
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So there's still days definitely, where I feel like I've I fall short in that.
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But I think motherhood for me was a big transition away from just self-serving my goals to trying to have more of a, a well-rounded focus and how I was supporting my family, my spouse, my kids and also myself.
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Yeah, and when did you realize that, like they say, it takes a village, right?
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When did you realize that I can't do all of this by myself?
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You know I'm very ambitious, I want to do all of the things, but I also want to, you know, fulfill my role as a mother.
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Like when did you realize that that that was important?
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So I was actually really young, my mom was a single mom who raised us, and I saw that that can take a toll, where you are trying to be everybody or everything for everybody, and you're trying to prioritize yourself, you're trying to do your things and it it's incredibly challenging.
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And so for me, even before my husband and I were married, we had a really clear conversation where I was like I'm not having kids unless we're having kids, like I'm not capable of doing that by myself.
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I knew myself well enough to know that I was going to be ambitious and really driven and that that was going to take a toll.
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And so my first conversation with him when we were seriously dating was like if we decide we're something serious long-term, I'm not having kids unless I know you're in it, cause I just can't do it by myself.
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And I went to a women's conference this was in probably 2015, 2014, maybe and a very high up executive for a very popular television channel was speaking to this women's leadership conference and I'll never forget.
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She stood on stage and she's like I'm going to go off script here and I'm going to tell you that you can't have it all.
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You cannot have a career and magically be a stay at home mom and homeschool your kids and bake sourdough and work out every day and have a clean diet and run to social media.
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She's like it's not possible.
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You're going to have to prioritize things.
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And she's like, and I encourage you to prioritize the right of things, which are your family and your children.
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She goes and I'm telling you this as a woman who did not prioritize her family and her children and now has extreme career success and regrets a lot of it.
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And I was so shocked that she would be so open and that she would share this advice and that she would encourage us in that way in like a corporate women's leadership summit, and it just reinforced my belief that, like, if I decided to have children, it was going to cut into my career and some of my aspirations, some of my goals, and it was going to require partnership with my spouse because I wasn't going to do it in a way that sacrificed them.
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Hey, I love that, and I know that you talked a little bit about just how you can kind of manage it all.
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So what are some of those kind of tangible things that actually help you do all of the things that you want to do, like some some of the tools, maybe that you use?
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Yeah.
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So outside of my amazing husband, who I give a shout out every chance that I can cause, he really is like the magic glue for it all.
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Um, so I use kind of a combination of.
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A lot of people have heard of time blocking.
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Like I do certain tasks certain times of the day and what I call day blocking.
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So there are certain tasks I only do on certain days of the week and this really helps me stay organized.
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I have a huge belief in what is referred to now by psychologists as mental load.
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So an example of mental load is when the woman complains the husband never does the dishes and she's like you never do the dishes.
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And he's like well, you didn't ask.
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And she's like I shouldn't have to ask, you should just do it.
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And studies have shown that in that example the wife is holding the mental load of you need to do the dishes.
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She's thinking about it, she's following up about it, she's asking about it, she's making sure it happened.
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All of the mental activity in your brain is going towards that task, even if he's physically completing it, and so the mental load is actually higher than the task load.
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And so when we think of this in terms of balancing lots of priorities.
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The more you're holding in your brain at any given point in time, the higher your stress level, the closer you are to burnout and the more difficult it is to stay on task and stay focused.
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And so, for me, day blocking has been really helpful, because if it's not day of that day of the week, I'm not thinking about it.
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I can't, I don't have space, and so Mondays are like my content days.
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I record all my podcast episodes, I make all my social media content, I schedule all my content, I write my LinkedIn posts, I write my weekly emails and I don't think about content.
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The other six days of the week I cannot.
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It's the same on Fridays is when I do all of my follow-ups, both with my corporate team, all my one-on-ones with the individuals who report to me, but also with my clients.
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This is when I do my outreach.
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I make sure everybody's comfortable, everybody's getting what they need.
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It's my support day, essentially, and the rest of the week I don't think about those two things because I don't have space.
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So for me, one of the big tactical tools that has been helpful is a combination of, like time blocking tasks, but also day blocking the types of tasks I'm doing just to free up that mental space to focus on all of the other tasks that I need to do.
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And then the second thing that I would add to that is I bought a remarkable tablet.
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This is my, this is my 2020, this is not sponsored.
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This is my 2020 purchase of the year.
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Um, and I downloaded a planner in it from Etsy that everything is hyperlinked and you can write something on a day in the month and it will translate to the week and it will translate to your to-do list, and you can write things on your to-do list six months from now, and that has been really helpful, just because I'm that person that once I get it down on paper, I don't have to think about it as much, and it is physically the act of writing.
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I can't use an iPad where I type it or type it into an app.
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It doesn't work the same for my brain, and so the act of being able to write everything down keep it organized to your point of organized chaos.
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It looks like chaos.
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My week looks insane, but in it there's a lot of organization and kind of type categorization that helps me be able to kind of release those things that I don't have space to focus on, which allows me to operate my best in other areas.
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Yeah, oh, my gosh, you're speaking my language so much.
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And I think that, like you said, like there's this mental load that we carry and even if we're actually delegating certain tasks to other people, like we're still thinking about, well, are they going to do it?
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Are they going to do it right?
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Because I think that we have this unrealistic expectation that we are the only ones that can do things and we're the only ones that can do things properly or right, but kind of letting go of that pressure is such a huge deal, and I love everything that you were talking about.
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You know, prioritizing, obviously, because we cannot do it all.
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Some things have to be, like, set aside and we have to really focus on what's important in this.
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You know, given time, and obviously there are a lot of different tools that we can use and I'll definitely have to see exactly what it is that you're using.
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You know, for those people who can't see us on video, she was holding something up that looks like an iPad On video.
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She was holding something up that looks like an iPad, right?
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And, yeah, I think that we put so much pressure on ourselves to just be perfect, which is this impossible task, right?
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So we're constantly feeling like we're failing because our standards are so high, right, but really kind of focusing on not just what do I need to do, like what's my priority, but what are the right things, because a lot of times we can get into the tasks that really isn't moving the needle forward and we think we're moving but we're really not, because there are certain things that we are doing that could be just a complete waste of time.
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But in our mind we've thought, well, yeah, well, it's actually something that I are doing that could be just a complete waste of time, but in our mind we've, you know, thought, well, yeah, well, it's actually something that I'm doing, I am being productive, but we're just being busy rather than productive, right.
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So I love all of that Shifting into, kind of like your role as a mom, and I know that there's so many things that you're doing and it's like incredible, like your, your career in your life seems like so incredible and it is like, and you have the support system, you have a supportive spouse.
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But I know that sometimes we have like our brain, like we have limiting beliefs sometimes and I know that I'm sure for you, you might have some of those limiting beliefs.
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So like talk to me about, like, maybe, some of the insecurities that you have around being a mom.
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Absolutely so.
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One thing I want to say quickly on what you were sharing about delegation is I had a leader give me this advice once and it's the best, so I want to say it just so it's on the podcast is get comfortable with things being done.
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The second best way your way will always be best, but second best is still best and I was like that is so for anybody who needed to hear that today.
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Um, as far as limiting beliefs go, for me, there are so many and in the corporate world I'm very confident that I know what I'm doing, I know how to communicate, I know how to get my job done, but I have a million limiting beliefs and insecurities in other spaces, and I recently read the book Worthy by Jamie is that her last name, anyways?
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And yeah, and In part of it she has you write down your limiting beliefs, and it's an emotional process for me because I am a very like I'm going to get all the things done, and for me, one of mine is that I'm not a good mom.
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It is a huge insecurity of mine because I'm not the mom who plays, I'm not the mom who's naturally super nurturing and warm, who just wants to like talk about how you're feeling and be there for you.
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I'm the mom who is productive which was another limiting belief we'll get to in a second and so I feel like, even though I'm doing these things for my kids I'm present for my kids, we're doing things they enjoy I'm insecure all the time that I'm not there for them enough, that I'm not present enough, that I'm not with them enough.
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It's a constant, constant struggle of mine.
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My husband and I talk about it daily because it is something I'm really I try to be very intentional about, both in how I talk about myself to myself, but also in the things that I do with my kids.
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One of the other ones is that I am only valuable when I'm productive and, as you have heard throughout this episode, it is a big point of pride for me how much I can get done.
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It is part of that ego that I'm able to accomplish a lot.
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And when you strip away my productivity, I worry a lot about my own worthiness in the absence of what I do for other people, a lot about my own worthiness in the absence of what I do for other people, and this is maybe it's an oldest daughter thing, but for me it is a lot of struggle that I don't sit well, I don't rest well.
00:22:01.838 --> 00:22:06.107
So one of my affirmations this year is actually, I prioritize my own rest.
00:22:06.107 --> 00:22:10.041
Well, that is one of my affirmations this year to try and overcome that limiting belief.
00:22:10.041 --> 00:22:11.741
Because I just don't.
00:22:11.741 --> 00:22:23.582
I have to go, go go all the time and if I don't, then I feel guilty that I'm not cooking for my family, or I'm not cleaning for my family, or I'm not responding to that client, or I'm not doing that thing, and it becomes a spiral for me.
00:22:23.582 --> 00:22:37.970
So those are two big limiting beliefs that I have with myself, and the last one that I would say is that the value that I bring to people is, like, not enough to maintain that relationship.
00:22:39.596 --> 00:22:41.862
So I moved a lot growing up.
00:22:41.862 --> 00:23:00.910
I had a lot of changes in friends and relationships and, as a result, I have a really hard time trusting people to stay in relationships with me, whether that's like friendship or that's a spousal relationship, and it comes down to that worthiness again of like am I enough for them?
00:23:00.910 --> 00:23:03.522
Now, a lot of what happened in my youth was very situational based.
00:23:03.522 --> 00:23:04.045
We're moving.
00:23:04.547 --> 00:23:44.381
I moved 19 times before I graduated high school, so literally every year of my life basically, but it does it like has that intrinsic belief, and so these are things that I'm constantly struggling with and constantly trying to overcome, because, as social media, I feel like, has this adverse effect whereas great as someone's life looks on social media, we just assume that their life is great in their heart and in their soul, and a lot of the time I feel like we're all dealing with our own struggles and those own limiting beliefs and insecurities, and understanding them is so important so that you can start to change them, which is why I'm very intentional with mine.
00:23:44.381 --> 00:23:56.376
But it doesn't make it any easier the days where those hit, where I'm like man, I didn't clean the kitchen this morning, I'm not being enough for my family, right, and those types of challenges that we face.
00:23:57.640 --> 00:24:00.746
Yeah, and thank you for sharing that.
00:24:00.746 --> 00:24:11.780
It's not always easy to kind of put out our limiting beliefs and kind of like our struggles out there, but I can, you know, truly relate to a lot of them, and even the women that I coach.
00:24:11.780 --> 00:24:23.159
That is a really really big struggle and kind of story that we have, that we're not being good moms, depending on, like, what it is that we're doing, or even overall.
00:24:23.159 --> 00:24:41.154
You know, when you know you're ambitious and you want to do all of the things, it does feel like there's this imbalance sometimes where we feel like, okay, we're not being a good mom because we're not, you know, whether it's coming from our childhood or we're comparing ourselves to others.
00:24:41.154 --> 00:24:43.616
That's a really big one, right, like how you said.
00:24:43.616 --> 00:24:50.724
You know, we kind of look at social media and kind of see just like the highlight reel and then we use that comparison to put ourselves down.
00:24:50.875 --> 00:25:13.041
But I love the fact that you not only gave us some of those limiting beliefs that you have, but also how you combat them, because that is something that we can do every day and it's something that we can do now, right, where, hey, I feel this way and that's okay, right, it's sitting in that and being okay with that.
00:25:13.041 --> 00:25:15.509
But I want something different.
00:25:15.509 --> 00:25:17.455
I want to feel a different way.
00:25:17.455 --> 00:25:22.694
So I'm going to reframe this and I'm going to choose this affirmation, and I love that that.
00:25:22.734 --> 00:25:32.643
It's not like this thing where people sometimes think affirmations are just like oh, I just have to say out loud how I think I am and then I'll start to believe it.
00:25:32.643 --> 00:25:48.045
But really it's about understanding that you can talk in the present moment like this is what I am doing, and then you start to reframe your mind and that is how your thoughts are changed with those situations.
00:25:48.045 --> 00:25:56.287
So, yeah, you'll always have like these moments where you don't feel like you're being a good mom, but you can work through those.
00:25:56.287 --> 00:26:04.924
And this was such an amazing conversation, kendall, and I loved having you here to share your expertise.
00:26:04.924 --> 00:26:15.587
If I know people are going to want to check you out and if you know people want to learn more about you and what you do, how can they connect with you?
00:26:16.474 --> 00:26:17.396
Absolutely so.
00:26:17.396 --> 00:26:35.316
The lifeblood of my business is Instagram, so you can find me at that career coach underscore on Instagram, and then I'm that career coach pretty much everywhere YouTube, instagram and then I'm that career coach pretty much everywhere YouTube, tiktok, twitter X, I guess now.
00:26:35.316 --> 00:26:45.636
And then I also have my podcast as well Secrets of the Corporate Game where we talk about how to build the skills to navigate corporate politics, find success in your career and honestly just identify what success is for you, whether that is a corporate job or entrepreneurial skillset.
00:26:45.636 --> 00:26:48.864
So those are probably the best places to find me if you're looking to get more info.
00:26:48.864 --> 00:26:50.086
Perfect.
00:26:50.125 --> 00:26:53.599
And I will include those in the show notes Before we wrap up.
00:26:53.599 --> 00:26:56.646
Are there any encouraging words that you can give?
00:26:56.646 --> 00:27:00.061
What is in your heart right now that you would want to share with the audience?
00:27:01.125 --> 00:27:15.247
I would say that you are enough for whatever it is that you are aspiring to achieve and that what you have experienced builds you in the way that sets you up for success and what those dreams are.
00:27:15.247 --> 00:27:31.387
And so, whatever hesitations you have that are holding you back, whatever insecurities or limiting beliefs, if you truly invest in starting to change those and in yourself and in your confidence, there is nothing that you want that you are not capable of getting for yourself.
00:27:32.454 --> 00:27:33.136
I love that.
00:27:33.136 --> 00:27:36.125
Thank you so much for that and thank you for being here with us today.
00:27:36.535 --> 00:27:37.740
Thank you so much for having me, Teresa.
00:27:37.740 --> 00:27:38.683
It was a great conversation.
