Transcript
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Hey, my name is Teresa Hildebrand and this is Organized Chaos.
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We take a deep dive into living with intentionality, focusing on what's important in our lives so we can truly feel our best.
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It may feel chaotic at times, but with a little organization, the right mindset and a ton of self-love, we can still thrive.
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Join me as we talk to other busy moms and experts who will share tips and strategies to help you reach your goals.
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Hope you enjoy this episode of Organized Chaos.
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Now on to the show.
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Hey friends, welcome to another episode of Organized Chaos.
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So today I'm actually sharing a coaching session I did in Modern Leadership, which is a YouTube channel I co-host with my husband, and every now and then we will do live coaching sessions, and I wanted to share this particular one with you because she's struggling like not being expert enough.
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Those were her words, and this is really kind of related around imposter syndrome, so feeling uncomfortable being in a room where you feel like you don't belong.
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So I think that many of us can relate to this.
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So I wanted to share how I actually coached her through this a little bit and kind of give her the ability to see this from a different perspective.
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So, without further ado.
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Here is my coaching session with Tricia.
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Tricia, thank you so much for being here.
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Thank you for inviting me, of course.
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So, if you guys are listening to the Modern Leadership podcast or you're here with us watching us on the Modern Leadership YouTube channel, we do live coaching sessions with our inner circle members occasionally and it's a really great way for you to kind of see us in action.
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But also maybe this will resonate with you maybe you're going through something similar and you want to see, like, how we can kind of work through some of these struggles so that we can move forward and, like, really take action.
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So today, tricia is going to let us know, like what it is that she's struggling with and see how we can navigate through this particular topic.
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So we did talk a little bit before we went live.
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But, tricia, can you set this up?
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Tell us what it is that you want to work through today?
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Yes, thank you.
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This is something that's come up at various levels within my journey as an entrepreneur is not feeling expert enough, like not feeling like, or maybe that I've stepped into a room that's a whole lot too big sometimes and you know, I haven't had it happen for a while, but it did happen again for me last weekend, okay, so tell me more about that.
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So I there's a local nonprofit that I wanted to sign up to volunteer for and get acquainted with, and it took a little longer than expected, but we had a meeting last weekend and I wanted to join their mentorship committee.
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Being an advanced life and performance coach and being somebody that volunteerism has always been a key for me, this was a great fit and I was excited.
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I went to a meet and greet they had, and so we have this first meeting last Sunday morning and I am in the room with some pretty high-end professionals and on my entrepreneurial journey, I feel like I'm at the beginning of it.
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This is new to me and we're going in the right direction.
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But I step into this room and I'm going.
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I am like I just had that.
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I'm the low man on the totem pole.
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I've got the least amount of experience.
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Do I have enough to bring to the table.
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So let's kind of work through that a little bit.
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So last weekend you went to this nonprofit meeting and you've been wanting to join this committee, right, this mentorship committee, and you walk into the room and you see that there's all these high-end professionals and you think do I have enough?
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Do you have enough to what?
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To offer them and helping them create this mentorship program.
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It's a local city women's empowerment group and we're putting together a you know six-month to 12-month mentorship course for you know women to learn how to become a better entrepreneur or to just gain you know professional, more professionalism and, you know, go up the ranks in their jobs and what they want to do and accomplish in life.
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It's a, you know, I feel like it's a very important task.
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Yeah, so when you think about that, when you think you're in this space, where you feel like, like you said, you're at the bottom of the totem pole and you feel like you don't have enough experience.
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You say do I have enough to offer them?
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How does that make you feel?
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Very nervous and scared at times.
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You know, can I, can I really bring enough?
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But in that moment last week, when you were at this meeting, panic.
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So you felt panicked, okay so you're thinking do I have enough to offer them?
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Right, You're in this new space and you felt panic.
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What did you do when you felt panic?
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I probably didn't offer up some enough suggestions of what I thought of, because we were just kind of brainstorming ideas of you know what things we would want in this mentorship for people.
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I didn't bring a whole lot of suggestions, um, but you know it is a brainstorming thing and we're coming back together in two weeks and you know I I kind of shared my experience, what I had and in in gave mentorship.
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You know, like in mentorship programs, I've had what I've liked in it and what I haven't liked in it and things that I think should be offered, but I just didn't feel they were.
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Not that they weren't well-received they were, but I just felt that they weren't there was enough meat to them, I guess.
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There was enough meat.
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Yeah.
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Like was there enough?
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substance.
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Yeah, that's the word I was looking for okay, so.
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So you said you did give membership or mentorship.
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Sorry, um, but what was the energy like?
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the energy was very good.
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Um, okay, I think I tried to, you know, stand with confidence in the room.
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You know I do, I know I have things to offer.
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But is it enough for this level of professional mentorship?
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I guess is where I questioned myself.
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Okay, so what else did you?
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Uh, did you do when you were feeling panicked?
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Um, um, I stayed in the room, you know, I said I'd be back for the next meeting and, um, I just took a breath and I thought, you know I can do this.
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You know, I tried to kind of cheerlead myself a little bit, um, and I gave them a couple suggestions as to what to they could put out maybe in their marketing, to ask people what they would want to bring.
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I was pretty proud of myself in that moment, you know, like maybe I don't have, you know, every answer, but at least I thought I put out a good, you know, suggestion, like let's ask the people that are here in the room or following us on social that what do they want?
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You know, so that was probably my highlight of the conversation.
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But and then I thought to myself okay, how am I going to do this?
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Okay, so what didn't you do when you were in kind of like this state?
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Um, I probably could have offered some things that I felt would have been a good addition at that point and not wait until the next meeting to see what others bring to the table too, and maybe I could have given suggestions of different ways that I have mentored in the past.
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And what were some other thoughts that were popping up in that moment.
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I really had this.
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Did I bite off more than I can chew?
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Feeling thought Um.
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Like you know, I know that I need to step into rooms that I feel uncomfortable with, but I think at that moment I thought maybe I took too big of a leap.
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Okay, so let me kind of walk you through this again, yep, and for those listening or watching, just so that you can kind of see the process, that thought process that happens from like thought to feeling to action.
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So last weekend you had this meeting for a nonprofit it was for the mentorship committee and you said you know, the room is full of high end professionals and your story was do I have enough to offer them?
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Thought that you felt panic and some of the things that you did were you, you did give mentorship and you did feel good about some of the things that you were saying, but you still kind of hesitated and you didn't offer enough suggestions because you you had probably many, but you you maybe kept yourself from doing that.
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There was kind of like it seems like this back and forth between I don't know if I'm kind of good enough, but also, hey, I got all of these great suggestions that I can and I can do this.
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So there was kind of this back and forth, and that kind of happens when you are a life coach as well.
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So you kind of you know you go back and forth from you know like head voice to heart voice and back and forth, but you felt like you still could have offered more suggestions and you could have kind of showed them that you do have some type of experience in mentoring.
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You also thought, you know, other thoughts will pop up into our head when you know this happens, where you thought did I bite off more than I could chew?
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Maybe I took too big of a leap?
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So with all of this, what do you think you are manifesting?
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I'm creating, that I'm not going to show up with confidence, that I'm going to sit in, that I'm taking a backseat to it, that I feel like I don't have enough to offer.
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Yeah, like you're not showing up with confidence.
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Because when you're not showing up with confidence, that's basically what your story is You're, you're, you're, you're thinking, well, do I have enough to offer them?
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You're kind of you know, there's, there's self doubt popping up, right.
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And yes.
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So, tricia, I know you and I know you have so much to offer, and it's just about really focusing on what you do have to offer.
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And, of course, everybody's at a different level and I I know for a fact that you know when, when it's us, we think we're kind of down here, but in reality we're not, and it's just about really focusing on well, how do I want to show up?
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Maybe I feel like I'm not at the level of these high-end professionals, but I'm learning, right, I'm learning how to get there and how do I want to show up to these meetings so that I can provide that feedback, I can provide that expertise that I know you do have right.
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It's just about really elevating, like a really positive and empowering thought, so that you can show up the best way you can, because that's all we can do, right, is show up the best way we can.
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We're still learning.
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However.
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You have so much to offer, right?
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So how do we?
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You know, how do we get you to that space?
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How do we get you to that space, that headspace, so that the next time you go to that committee meeting, you can provide the expertise and, you know, the mentorship that you know you really have, and you know it doesn't matter how they take it or if they take it, but at least you know that you showed up, right?
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So let's think about this You're going to go to another meeting, right?
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Yep, okay, so you're going to go to another meeting.
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So the facts don't change, like the fact is that last week you went to a meeting and you're going to go to another meeting.
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So that's not going to change.
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However, we can change how you perceive this next encounter, right?
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So how do you want to show up?
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I want to show up with confidence and energy and, you know, just really focus on collaboration.
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Like you, I firmly believe you can do more as a team and being able to show up in that level standing, just standing taller, you know, just knowing feeling that I have that confidence and feeling that you know that this, you know where I may.
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I'm going to learn stuff out of this.
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You know, learn things out of this too, as much as I give stuff out of this.
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You know, learn things out of this too.
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As much as I give yeah, and and what does?
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What is a thought that you can have that will give you that confidence and that energy and make you feel like you're standing up tall.
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I think for me it goes back to the impact that I can make that you know, no matter how small that impact is or how big it is, my one of my core values is to just make that impact.
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You know how can I change somebody's life with these group of women that I'm working with?
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with these group of women that I'm working with.
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Yes, and you see how there's.
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There was another question there.
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So you started off with a question with your thought do I have enough to offer them?
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And now you have another question.
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However, it's much more empowering how can I change somebody's life?
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Right, Like that.
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That is a question that you want to go for right.
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You want to really, really find out how you can do that.
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So you said your thing is impact, right, no matter how small or how big that impact is, how can I change somebody's life?
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So, with that thought, how does that make you feel?
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I feel excited.
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It brings me excitement and brings me joy.
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So when you're feeling excited, you're showing up to these meetings.
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What are you doing?
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You know I have a list of things that I think are essential for that meeting.
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I've done my, my assigned task for that, and then I'm ready to, you know, really get down and and in the nitty gritty and collaborate to, you know, make this the best program possible for local women.
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What else?
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And to learn, and else, and to learn and what.
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And to learn Like part of me getting into this was to also learn.
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You know, like I have a lot to offer in it, things that I think are essential, but I also will gain a lot of stuff from the women that I get to work with.
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Yeah, and what do you think you're going to stop yourself from doing when you're excited and you want to jump in and do things?
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I'm not going to hesitate, you know, I'm not going to hesitate.
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You know, like you said, you know, even if it's you know, not something that in the end we vote to keep, we all have the suggestions out there so that we have as many opportunities in ways and avenues, paths, however you want to say it, for these women to excel and for us to excel, leading them.
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And what do you think are some of the other thoughts that you're going to have when you're in this state?
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Um, I think a lot of it would be how can I make it better?
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You know, even if it's a suggestion for myself from somebody else, how can we make this better together?
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What can I contribute as my portion of this?
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So how can?
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I lead better.
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How can I lead better?
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That's a great question, and even better is when you actually make it a statement too.
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Yes.
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I can.
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I can work with others to make this better, right, yes, okay, so let's go back to the top.
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So you're at this meeting and your, your new story is that you want to make a bigger impact, no matter how big or small, and how can I change someone's life?
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And that makes you feel excited.
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And then you start, you start doing stuff, you start moving right, you start making a list of the essential things, you are ready to collaborate.
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So your energy is high.
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You want to make this the best program and you also are there to learn, not just to give, and you don't hesitate.
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You still give those suggestions.
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They can take it or leave it, right, but you are going to offer those suggestions.
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And then you start to focus on how can we make this program better and how can you lead better.
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So what do you think you're going to be manifesting from that?
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That'll create for me confidence in walking into the room with the ideas that I have and how to use them to the best of everybody's benefit.
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So not just yes, exactly.
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So it's not just hey, I'm going to be more confident, you're truly going to help change someone's life.
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Because, yes, you're going to make that impact because you're going to be devoted to this, you're going to be excited about it and you're going to be participating in it.
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So it's not going to be do.
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I have enough to offer?
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It's, I do have enough to offer and I'm going to put my best foot forward into it Right.
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Yes, I love that.
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I love how you just tweaked.
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It is and really it was tiny.
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It truly is just little tweaks, right, that can make a huge difference.
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And I do have to say, Tricia, that when you first started and you started to tell me well, I don't know if I have enough to offer and things like that, and I'm thinking back to not just what's happening now, but your whole life prior to this.
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You have so much to offer with your life experience.
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Maybe it doesn't feel like it right now because you're stepping into something new and it feels scary.
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Every time we step outside of our comfort zone it's always scary.
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It doesn't matter how much life we've had, how many jobs we've had, how many experiences we've had, what we've gone through, sometimes it doesn't matter.
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When we're in this really scary place, however, we just need to stop and think sometimes logically okay, I know, I have experience.
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Maybe it's not particularly in this, but I venture to say that you do have some experience with this because it's mentorship and you're a life coach as well.
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You can offer that that I'm pretty sure a lot of people in this group do not have, do not have, and now they have a life coach in their corner, in their, you know, in their in their space, to collaborate and to kind of see things in a different perspective that they would.
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They wouldn't be able to to do, you know, if you weren't in that room.
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So you know your you being in this is going to make such a huge difference and the things that you're going to be doing and the things you're going to be offering, and you know all of these skills that you've built up until this moment.
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Everything counts, everything matters, and you are going to make such a huge difference, and I'm super excited for you Me too.
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I really am, and I'm super excited for you Me too.
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I really am Like this thing lit me up, and then when I got in the room I was like, oh wait, but you know, it is.
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It's something that speaks to me.
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That I'm, you know, very much is in line with what I want to do with my business and what I want to do outside that in the world.
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So I am super excited to do this and thank you, this helped so much.
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Yeah, I'm glad and you know, thank you for what you do.
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I mean, you know, not everybody you know is willing to volunteer their time, their skills, their energy to nonprofits like this.
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So you know what you're doing is going to make a huge difference and you know, little by little, you'll get in there and you'll, you know, start to build up that confidence.
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It's just about reminding yourself that you know you do have enough to offer.
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You have more than enough to offer this organization and I and I'm excited to see what, what comes out of it Me too- Very much so Okay.
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So how do you feel now?
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I feel very energetic about what I have to complete by the next meeting.
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Now it it.
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You know you can tell yourself things, but believing in them sometimes you know it takes that just change of the view, which you know it really you can take the same sentence and, like you said, make it from a question to a statement and that that little shift in your, the way you look at something, it makes a difference.
00:23:18.923 --> 00:23:20.885
So thank you very much.
00:23:22.166 --> 00:23:23.929
Yeah, and it's really about repetition.
00:23:23.929 --> 00:23:26.411
Like you said, sometimes it's hard to believe.
00:23:26.411 --> 00:23:44.863
You know what you're trying to, you know how you're trying to reframe that narrative and it's just about repeating it until you believe it.
00:23:44.863 --> 00:23:44.982
Right?
00:23:44.982 --> 00:23:55.846
Because, just like how that process I walk you through, of what it is that you focus on and the story that you tell yourself leads to whatever feeling that is, and then it makes you take certain actions.
00:23:55.846 --> 00:24:06.951
That repetition of focusing on that story that you want to believe, then that will lead you to take the actions that are aligned with that.
00:24:06.951 --> 00:24:11.651
So it's just about aligning, you know, with the actions that you want.
00:24:11.651 --> 00:24:15.811
So your story has to align with the actions that you want and what you truly want to manifest.
00:24:15.811 --> 00:24:21.042
So it's just about practice and, yeah, I appreciate it.
00:24:21.042 --> 00:24:22.287
That was a huge help.
00:24:22.909 --> 00:24:25.115
Yeah, so it's just about practice and, yeah, I appreciate it.
00:24:25.115 --> 00:24:28.580
That was a huge help, yeah, but you know, thank you for being here and sharing.
00:24:28.580 --> 00:24:29.422
You know what you're going through.
00:24:29.422 --> 00:24:41.636
I know it's going to help a lot of people, at the very least, become aware of how their stories are, you know, manifesting into something that they don't want, so that they can make the switch and start creating the things that they do want.
00:24:41.636 --> 00:24:43.805
So thank you so much for being here.
00:24:43.805 --> 00:24:44.847
Tricia, absolutely.
